Page 54 of Topped

As I’d reminded Darcy over the summer, orgasms were very good for stress relief.

“Nearly,” Rupert said as he turned his head, looking at me over his shoulder with a tired smile, adjusting his glasses with his free hand. “I just need to finish this one.”

“Need a hand with anything?” I asked, shutting the door behind me to keep out the evening chill. The shop was quiet, the blinds drawn on the windows and the door bolted and locked. Norman had already gone, and I remembered Rupert saying something about his husband being a tour guide up at the castle, so I assumed he’d already headed up there to see him. I was kinda hoping we’d bump into them, just because I was desperately curious about Sidney. We still hadn’t gotten around to having dinner with them, despite the longstanding invitation.

“No, thank you. I won’t be long.”

“Sure?”

“Just your company is enough,” he said softly. I smiled to myself as he returned to the hamper, pushing away the urge to walk up behind him, put my arms around his waist, and press kisses up the side of his neck. “What did you get up to today?”

“Not much. Did an exercise video, lay on the floor and contemplated my existence, did some doodling. Found a couple of freelance websites to sign up to for design work—not sure I’ll get anything, but if not, I’ll make a few digital designs and templates and sell them on somewhere like Etsy. Although, if I do that, they’ll probably get nicked and used by other people, which is shitty as fuck.”

I knew so many designers and artists who’d had their work stolen and used by dropshippers and cheap clothing companies, and they’d never get credit or payment for it either. It was fucked up, and I hated the idea that one day I’d randomly see something I’d made popping up for sale on Shein or Temu without any say.

“That’s awful,” Rupert said. “The art theft, I mean. Not the rest of the stuff. Although, your exercise videos do sound a little like torture.”

“My offer still stands if you want to try one with me.”

“And my reply is still, thank you but absolutely not.”

I chuckled, leaning against the counter near him. Not quite touching but close enough to see all the details of his face. It was easy to lose myself in all the tiny things—the curl of his eyelashes, the little scattering of freckles across his nose, the curve of his lips, the little mole in one corner beneath it, the stubble starting to come through along his jaw, the couple of scars and dips in his skin leftover from spots he’d picked. He was so beautiful and I wondered if he knew that.

Did he believe me when I told him or did he just think I was flattering him?

Sometimes, it was hard to know if Rupert was being honest with me. Or at least being open. I was never sure if he was telling me the whole truth or if he was holding something back, hiding his true feelings and opinions. It wasn’t exactly dishonesty, because I didn’t believe he had bad intentions, but I couldn’t think how else to describe it. The words were evading me.

I didn’t know if it was because he didn’t trust me, or if he thought I wouldn’t like what I saw if he allowed himself to be truly open with me, but I suspected it was a bit of both.

That didn’t mean I knew what to do about it, though. I couldn’t force him. Rupert wasn’t a clam I could tap with a stone like an otter until he cracked and opened.

“Okay, I think I’m done,” Rupert said, and I realised I’d basically been staring at him for ten minutes.

“Awesome!” I grinned and leant in to kiss his cheek. “It looks amazing.”

“Thank you. I’ll get my coat and we can go. How did you want to get up there? We can always take my car if that helps? We’d just need to walk back to mine to get it.”

“Sounds good,” I said. The centre of Heather Bay wasn’t the best for parking, but the town was so isolated you pretty much needed a car to get anywhere, including up to the big Tesco on the outskirts. There were buses, but they weren’t exactly frequent, especially in the evening.

I waited for Rupert to grab his coat, then followed him out of the shop and watched as he locked up. “Are you excited?” I asked, sliding my hand into his as we began to walk briskly back towards his flat.

“Yes, it should be fun,” he said, his eyes darting up to the castle, where it sat on the cliffs above the town. Technically, it wasn’t a castle but a fancy old house designed to look like one. But everyone called it the castle, so the castle it was.

“You don’t sound sure,” I said gently, squeezing his hand. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want.”

“But you want to go.”

“So?”

“That means we have to go,” Rupert said, like it was obvious. I frowned.

“Yeah, but if you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. It’s only a Christmas lights switch on, it’s not the end of the world if we stay in.”

“But… you… I don’t want…” He sighed and plastered a smile on. It was so obviously fake that it startled me. “It’s fine. I want to go.”

“Rupert, please, don’t do that.”

“Do what?”