Page 7 of The Twilight Garden

‘I do, and I love the money, but… maybe I love the money too much. I think it makes me scared to even contemplate doing anything else. Does that make sense?’

Gemma nodded, made curious by the wistful expression on her friend’s face. ‘So if you were in my position, and money were no object, what would you do?’

‘I’d buy a house by the sea and open a tearoom.’

The speed of Cat’s reply surprised her, as did her answer. ‘Again… you baking cakes? It’s not something I automatically associate with you. Sorry if that’s⁠—’

‘No, I know. I can count on one hand the number of cakes I’ve made in my life and I’d probably be rubbish at it, but I’d like to learn. Otherwise I’d never know if it was something I might be good at.’ She scratched her nose. ‘I could have said rock climbing, or becoming a champion swimmer. There are so many things I don’t know about myself, things I could be capable of. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and not know, but this job – my career – it doesn’t leave time for anything.’

Gemma stared at her. She was right, of course, but at least Cat had found the time to have these thoughts. Gemma hadn’t even done that much, and she felt a little embarrassed to admit it. Time had certainly been an issue of late, but surely she should have some thoughts about the direction her life was taking? And for the second time in as many minutes, her thoughts strayed to the photo on her phone.

She was about to make mention of it when a sudden loud hissing captured her attention. The pan of leeks was boiling over. Turning down the heat, she studied the recipe card for the next step, realising she should have already started to cook the sausages. That particular conversation would have to wait.

It wasn’t until they were both tucking into their pasta that Gemma was able to broach the subject of the advert she’d seen.

General Assistant required to help with the development of a smallholding project. Previous experience is less essential than the desire to tackle whatever is required, but the job does require the person to be physically fit as some lifting and manual labour will be involved. Full board and lodging provided. Please contact Willow for more information.

‘What do you think?’ asked Gemma, passing her phone so that Cat could see.

‘There aren’t many details,’ she said. ‘But that’s probably deliberate.’

Gemma took back her phone, studying the photo again. ‘What do you mean?’

Cat wrinkled her nose. ‘Only that if they said it like it was, people probably wouldn’t apply. They want a general dogsbody. Plus, it doesn’t say anything about a salary. Or even where it is.’

‘Yes, but a smallholding sounds like it could be interesting.’ The old Gemma used to spend every spare moment she could outside, whereas the current version couldn’t even remember when she last went for a walk. ‘It’ll be somewhere in the countryside, that much I’m sure of. It might even have a garden.’ She paused slightly. ‘And there’s full board and lodging.’

Cat’s eyes narrowed. ‘Is that what attracted you to it? I know you’ve had a setback today, but surely things aren’t that bad?’

‘Thing is, Cat, I don’t know how bad they’re going to get. Or how fast. Luckily I hadn’t signed the tenancy agreement on the new flat, because if I had I’d be liable for the rent for six months which, given that it’s in the city centre, is verging on extortionate. Fine if I was earning what I would have been at Leonards, but impossible without a job. I can’t rent that, or any other place either, until I’ve got one.’

Cat snorted. ‘Just pay six months upfront. Most landlords would be happy with that. And you’ll easily get another job in that time.’

Gemma dropped her head, putting down her fork for a moment. Her teeth caught the side of her lip. ‘I can’t afford to, Cat.’

She looked up slowly, already knowing the expression she would see on her friend’s face. One of incredulity that someone on the kind of salary Gemma had been on couldn’t afford what Cat had suggested. And then her expression changed, and Gemma knew she’d worked it out.

‘Your mum…? I know June had her treatment privately, but I just assumed she had health insurance or something.’

Gemma shook her head. ‘Mine didn’t extend to her…’ She swallowed. ‘So I paid for it. All my savings are gone. I barely have enough left to live on myself.’

‘Oh, Gemma…’ Cat’s eyes began to fill with tears on Gemma’s behalf.

‘I just wanted Mum to have the best chance, and stupidly I thought throwing money at the problem might help. Arrogant of me, I know.’ She blinked away her own tears, dashing her hand against her cheek.

‘No one can blame you for that, and you mustn’t blame yourself either. I think most people would do what you did if they could.’ She cocked her head to one side. ‘So, is this why you’re interested in that job, because you get somewhere to live?’

‘I dunno… It was in a magazine in the doctors’ surgery. I didn’t really even look at it properly, not at the time. It was just afterwards, when the job with Leonard Associates went bang that I found myself thinking about it. Wondering why it had caught my attention in the first place.’ She paused. ‘I had a sudden vision of fields and hills, open space, walking with Dad… Maybe that’s all it was, hankering after a time when I used to love those things. Gardening with Mum, too. All those hours I spent with her. Remember how beautiful her garden was?’

Cat smiled. ‘How could I forget? June’s garden always looked incredible.’

‘So perhaps it was that, or even just the thought of doing something wildly different which appealed. And it would only need to be for six months, just to tide me over until I can get this place back. And look, it’s called Thistledown… How lovely is that? Soft and dreamlike.’ She sighed. ‘I’ve no idea when the advert appeared though – it could be three years old for all I know.’

‘Well, there’s only one way to find out.’ Cat raised her eyebrows. ‘I honestly meant what I said about you staying with me,’ she added. ‘But if this is something you want to have a go at, then I understand. And like you said, it doesn’t have to be forever, but maybe it would give you some space to think about where you go from here. I’d love to have you back at Mayfield Dawson, you know that, but if it’s not to be then I still want you to be happy, whatever you do.’

Gemma smiled. ‘You’re a good friend, Cat. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’

Cat returned her smile, with the wicked one Gemma knew so well. ‘Listen, I love coming here. It makes me feel so much better about my own life.’