Page 72 of The Twilight Garden

By the time she returned, two other volunteers from the food bank had arrived and, after a brief chat, she ferried them across as well. After them came Vicky, with a carload of cakes, and then the chair of the PTA too, opening her boot to reveal the promised hot-water urn. Two others from the school committee arrived, and for the best part of an hour, Gemma was rushed off her feet.

But by half past ten it was dead.

The urn was hot. The mugs, plates, cakes and sandwiches were all laid out in rows ready and waiting, but no one came. Now that Vicky had gone back to the tearoom, aside from her and Leo, Rowan and Willow, there were six other people on-site. It was more than before they opened their gates, but far fewer than she was hoping for. Than they were all hoping for.

At eleven, Leo, who had been roadside, came jogging down the track to see her. She laid her head on his shoulder as they hugged without a word. There didn’t seem much to say.

By a quarter to twelve, Gemma was scuffing the dirt at her feet and eating a slice of carrot cake, close to tears. When she had finished she would go and help the others, suggesting Leo did the same. There seemed little point in either of them staying where they were. No one else was coming. She shoved in the last mouthful of cake and was about to message Leo when she caught movement from the corner of her eye. Someone was walking towards her, but they hadn’t arrived by car, and neither had they approached the farm via the track. They were coming from the direction of the garden. She squinted into the sun, heat rising as she suddenly realised who it was.

‘You’ve got a bloody nerve…’

Ashley stopped where she was, holding up a hand. ‘I know,’ she said. She was still several metres away and she made no move to come any closer. ‘It’s taken me all morning to pluck up the courage to come. I even walked here because I didn’t think you’d let me on-site if I came in my car.’

‘Well you got that right.’

‘But I came to help, and if you’ll let me explain, I’ll tell you why.’

Gemma licked her lips. ‘I think you’ve done enough helping, don’t you?’

Ashley nodded, hands clasped in front of her, one thumb rubbing the palm of her other hand. ‘I know what I did was the worst kind of betrayal, and there’s no reason at all you should listen to me. I know all that, but I’m still here, Gemma, and I’d really like to explain. I wasn’t directly responsible for anything which happened here. I helped with… information, but it was my uncles who did all the damage, and I⁠—’

‘And you think that makes a difference? Because you didn’t get your own hands dirty? Sorry, Ashley, but that doesn’t change things one iota.’

‘No… no, of course it doesn’t. You’re right. I’m every bit as guilty as they are. But, it’s just so easy to get drawn back into it. And so hard to pull away. At least, it’s easy for people who are weak and don’t care about anyone…’ She lifted her head slightly. ‘And I convinced myself it would never happen to me because I wasn’t like that. But I can see that I have been. My family are…’ She stopped a moment as if rethinking what she wanted to say. ‘They carry such enormous weight, you see. You heard how my grandma spoke to me in the tearoom. You’re right in that she’s always had her sights set on this place, but the way she spoke to me that day, that wasn’t an act, it’s how she treats me. She talks about honour and tradition and loyalty to the family like we’re still living in the Middle Ages, and I’m not saying that to make you pity me – I know I could have taken her to task over it any time I liked – but because I want you to understand how easy it was for a person like me to simply fall back into line.’

‘Fall back into line? When we first met you told me that you and your husband had only moved back here a few years ago. Unless that was a lie, it sounds to me as if you knew exactly what you were doing. You chose to move back. Don’t make it sound as if you didn’t have a choice.’

‘I didn’t, I…’ She paused again, her voice faltering. ‘I grew up in this village, surrounded by family, and I never gave a thought to what they were like. It was only when I came back from university, a little wiser in the ways of the world, that I began to realise that maybe they weren’t such nice people. I moved away for work, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to gradually loosen the ties, but things don’t always work out the way you want them to, do they?’

Gemma certainly knew how that felt.

‘I met a lovely man, got married, but then a few years ago, his business started to fail and… the family threw him a lifeline. I never wanted to come back, and I argued against it every step of the way, but I also wanted my marriage to work, so…’ She pulled a bitter face. ‘Here we are.’

Gemma narrowed her eyes. ‘Is there a point to any of this?’

‘There is.’ Ashley nodded, several times. ‘Because the woman you first met in the tearoom isn’t the one who’s standing here today. She was weak and selfish. She didn’t have any friends, and she might have made a lot of money, but she hasn’t been happy in a long while. It’s only in the last few weeks that all that has changed.’ She half turned, back towards the garden. ‘Do you remember that day a few weeks back when we were working on the rosebeds, and I thanked you for letting me be here? Because I’d realised how much better I was feeling about my life. I wasn’t making that up. I didn’t like who I’d become and worse, I had no idea how to fix it… until I came here. I found a purpose, something I wanted to be a part of and that—’ She broke off, closing her eyes for a moment. ‘That’s what gave me the courage to be better.’ She lifted her chin slightly. ‘Please, Gemma, you have to believe me.

‘My grandmother is a formidable woman, and that’s the only thing I thank her for. Because I intend to be every bit as formidable as she has been. Only I shan’t be working with her, I’ll be working against her. It isn’t going to be easy, and nothing is going to change overnight, but it is going to change, I’ll make sure of that.’

‘But what about your husband? Where does he fit into all of this?’

Ashley’s gaze dropped to the floor. ‘Honestly, I don’t know.’ Her voice wobbled. ‘I’ve told him how I feel. I’ve told him that things need to change because today I shall be doing everything I can to help you guys get back on your feet. So he has a decision to make… and I guess I won’t know what the future will look like until he makes it.’

Gemma stared at her. She’d believed Ashley before, and look where that had got them, but… Was she really prepared to risk her marriage, her very way of life for them? And, as Gemma stood watching the woman in front of her, the way she was standing – in some ways utterly defeated, yet with her shoulders back, trying her damnedest to stand tall – Gemma knew exactly how that felt. And she knew what it was to stand up to someone, too. Hadn’t she done exactly the same thing just a couple of days ago – rejecting what was on offer, what would have given her an easy way out, and instead choosing something different? Choosing something she believed in with all her heart? Against all the odds, she found herself believing Ashley. She had thought that Ashley was manipulating her when she said what she had in the garden, trying to mirror Gemma’s feelings about it, to make out that it had been every bit as transformative for her as it had been for Gemma. But if what she’d said back then was true, then she had been feeling exactly the way Gemma had. And that was worth something. It had to be.

‘So what are you suggesting?’ she asked. She wasn’t about to let Ashley off the hook that easily, or let her dictate terms. It was time for action, not words, and only her actions would reveal the truth.

‘I’m not suggesting anything,’ replied Ashley. ‘I’m just here to help.’

Gemma studied her for a moment. ‘It must have taken a lot of courage to come here today.’

Ashley nodded.

‘But then I’m not really the person you hurt. I am, because I thought you were my friend, but it’s Rowan and Willow who are hurting the most. It’s them who might have lost their livelihood, the life they’ve dreamed about for years. So although I appreciate you coming here and saying what you have, I’m not the person you need to convince. They are.’

Another nod, and a swallow.

‘So if you’re serious about wanting to help, then they’re both in the kitchen garden. I think you know the way.’