Page 40 of Under the Shade of the Sycamore

“You have fifteen minutes,” he said with a warm smile as he handed me my cell phone. “Enjoy your call home.” He gave my bicep a tiny squeeze before leaving me alone. Well, not really alone. An ever-present camera stayed locked on my face as I sat down on a sofa, hands shaking, and dialed my mother’s number. The call went through immediately, Mom answering before it could ring twice. I started to cry seeing her, the twins, and Ivy all squeezed into the itty-bitty frame. Mom cried, the twins cried, Ivy wailed aloud. She was a very loud crier.

“Mom, oh God, it’s so good to see everyone,” I coughed after a solid two minutes of sniffles, gasps, and nose blowing on both sides of the pond. “Things are…things are wild over here!”

I was well aware of the camera pointed at me. Not only because the fucking things were everywhere aside from the bathrooms but because the woman holding it wore far too much perfume.

“We miss you!” the twins shouted while trying to wedge themselves into each other’s spaces. Mom rolled her dewy eyes, gave them both a firm order to stop, and then gazed into the camera on her phone with so much love in her eyes I almost began weeping again.

Ivy was dabbing at her face with her sleeve, a cowbell, and it snorted in amusement seeing it. Claude. Jesus. Wild didn’t even begin to describe things.

“Tell us all about it. Do you love Paris? Did you see the Eiffel Tower? Have you eaten pastries? Are they better than our American pastries? We need to know everything!” Ivy finally said in a rush that made me laugh.

“I love Paris and everything about it.” Truth. The academie, the streets, the culture, the fashion, the man with the snooty dog on his hip. “I’ve seen the tower in passing. Yeah I’ve had pastries, and yeah, they’re the best in the world.”

“Oh honey, you look so tired,” Mom softly said.

“I am. It’s stupidly hard. This competition is brutal but so amazing. I’m learning so much. My life is so crazy!” I put on my best performance since I’d been a ladybug in my kindergarten spring play. There was no way I could discuss the reality of this insane experience. NDA’s had been signed in triplicate. The producers would be going over this call with a fine tooth comb to ensure no tidbits were accidently shared, or, worse in their eyes, no mention of the late nights, lack of sleep, or the director no one liked. Also, I was tiptoeing around the whole situation with Claude. I desperately wanted to talk to my mom about it but that was not happening anytime soon.

I sat back, phone propped against a small fern in a clay pot on the coffee table, and listened to my sisters babbling about school, Ivy gushing about some guy she was maybe dating, and Mom’s recent pay hike. If I won Mom could retire. She could stop robbing Peter to pay Paul as she sadly joked. I just had to keep it together for another week or two. Head down, eyes on that prize, and not let my desires push me into anything foolish.

“Time’s up,” the camera operator said in a heavy French accent.

“We’re not even caught up yet,” Mom sighed.

“Yeah, they’re sticklers for time. I have to go. I have a dress to create,” I pouted which got a snicker from Ivy and Mom.

“And a contest to win!” Ivy shouted from behind my mother. The twins were close to tears. I blew them both kisses, told Ivy to not fall too hard for this new dude until I had a chance to meet and grill him, and took a moment to look into my mother’s loving eyes.

“Mom, there is so much I need to talk to you about. I’m feeling so many new things, wonderful things, scary things. Things that are…things that I don’t quite know how to handle. I’m scared, Mom, scared of these new things.”

“Kinder, you’re the bravest young man I know. The new things that are scaring you will be old and forgotten things in a month. That’s the way life runs. Things that look huge now tend to shrink as time passes. Whatever is happening you can handle it.”

I had to smile. It was a pathetic smile but it maybe would put her at ease. “You’re right. I’m pretty amazing.”

“That you are. We love you. We miss you. We cannot wait to hear about everything.” She wiggled her fingers at me. The screen went black.

I drew in a long breath, eyes watery again. The camera operator lifted my phone from it resting place then stood. Right. Time to get back to it. Xavier would not hesitate to keep us here until the wee hours if he didn’t get enough content.

Feeling emotionally drained I left the lounge. Claude was down the hall turning into a bathroom beside a vending machine.

“I have to splash cold water on my face for the cameras,” I lied to the woman who was escorting me back to the workroom. She nodded before stopping to feed some coins into the machine. Claude was at the sink when I pushed in. He turned at the squeak of the door opening. “Hey,” I said as I plastered my back to the door. His smile started bright then faded as his brow furrowed.

“What troubles you?”

“Shit is really bad.”

He rinsed then pulled some paper towels free to dry his hands.

“Speak softly,” he whispered, wadding up the towels before dropping them into the trash. “Come from the door.”

We slipped into a stall. His arms went around me as I buried my face into his shoulder. Pamplemousse was not happy with the close contact. I felt the nip to my belly as Claude held me tight.

“Tell me,” he whispered, pulling back so that he could look into my eyes. “Is it your family?”

“No, they’re fine. Thank you for the call. I really needed it.” I ran a hand along his side, breathing his cologne in as his dog did his best to gnaw through my shirt. Claude corrected his pet. The low snarl in reply told me that Pamplemousse would kill me in my sleep someday soon. “It’s us. Someone knows about us.”

Claude’s hazel eyes flared..” He took my damp face in his hands. When had the tears started again? “Tell me now. Who knows about us?”

“Mickey. He…he’s…he knows. He’s watched us a few times.” He growled something in French that I assumed was motherfucker. It had the same raw energy. “He never saw us kiss, that night…fuck I should have had more control. He just saw us being close. Sitting close, talking late at night. He did the math.”