Page 101 of Wilder

Now all of them had been blown to bits.

“I didn’t think you’d want to,” I said softly.

“Asher, I always want to talk to you. Why do you think I’m constantly hovering?”

My heart thudded a little too hard at that. “Because you’re trying to make sure I don’t accidentally maim myself and give you a bunch of paperwork to fill out?”

He huffed out a laugh. “Listen, I will always be worrying about you. But that has nothing to do with me trusting you not to get injured. It just...”

I swallowed, desperate to hear the rest. “Just what?”

My heart kicked up hard beneath his palm when he moved it to rest over my chest, hammering against his touch like it was trying to find a way out. He leaned in, his lips brushing against my jaw to press a soft kiss there. “I just want to protect you.”

What?

“Stop avoiding me, then.”

He exhaled slowly. “I have to... or else I’m going to end up keeping you with me twenty-four seven. I’d never let you out of my sight if I had it my way. That’s not exactly healthy when I’m trying to encourage you to be independent here.”

I pulled back just enough to look at him, frustration blooming under my skin, making me hot. “You’re kidding me.”

His brow furrowed. “What?”

“I thought you hated me,” I said, tugging at his hair. “Or at the very least, that I got on your nerves so bad you couldn’t stand being around me. Now, you’re telling me you’ve been avoiding me because you... liked being around me too much?”

He winced slightly, hearing it said out loud made it sound just as bad as what it felt being on the receiving end of it. “I wouldn’t put it like that...”

“Well, I am. That’s exactly how it sounds. Jesus, Wilder, do you know how many nights I stayed up overthinking everything I did after a day of you glaring at me? Every little thing I said I thought I messed up with you. That I was too loud or too... everything. I don’t know.”

He stared at me, his eyes wide with what looked dangerously close to regret. “You weren’t too anything. You were just... you. I liked that—like it. A lot more than I should, so I’ve stayed away from you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.

What kind of excuse was that?

Wilder looked away, his jaw tightening. “I didn’t know what to do with you. You’re nineteen, Asher. You have your whole life ahead of you. I didn’t want to cross a line we couldn’t come back from.”

“I’m pretty sure what we’ve been doing is about ten miles past that imaginary line.”

We laid together in silence for a beat, his hand still over my heart like he couldn’t bring himself to move it away. I didn’t want him to anyway, I wanted him right here.

“This whole time I thought I was annoying the shit out of you,” I said. “Especially with the whole Pelly thing.”

“I’m glad you’ve taken to her. She trusts you a lot, and that’s a big accomplishment for a horse like her. You have and will never annoy me. I’m... I don’t mean to come across that way, I’m sorry.”

I swallowed hard, emotions bubbling up behind my ribs that were too intense to ignore.

He sighed heavily.

A finger moved slowly across my chest, drawing invisible shapes into my skin. “When my father died almost two years ago, I got wrapped up in trying to step into his shadow. Be him. I guess... In the process, I’ve erased myself a bit.”

There was a rawness to his voice I wasn’t expecting.

I’d known about his dad passing, of course—everyone at the ranch did. It happened almost a year to the day before I got here. While no one talked about it much, it was obvious that the loss had hit everyone hard.

Especially Wilder.

He carried the grief quietly, much like I did. Having your parents pass wasn’t an easy thing to deal with when it came to other people. They tended to dance around the subject while dissecting your pain, poking at the wound until they knew where it bled.