Page 14 of Oblivious Roommate

“I spent the whole day researching Victorian pottery for my book,” Aaron says, placing his coat on the back of the other chair before settling with a sigh. His dark hair looks like a tangle of raw wool when he pulls off his beanie, but within a few well-practiced moves, he’s back to being Timothée Chalamet’s double. “How about you?”

“Oh, I was just decorating my house for Halloween, then fucking up my friendship,” I groan, and my sad puppy eyes beg for him to cheer me up.

Aaron’s face falls, and he places both his elbows on the edge of the table, old pottery and literary fiction forgotten. “Shit, that sounds like a rough day.”

“I can’t even pinpoint why I hate Logan so much but I do. I need dirt on the man, Aaron. I know it exists. It has to.”

Pale green eyes flutter shut as he leans back. “Why? Why are you so damn obsessed? Yeah, he is a bit arrogant, a bit of an asshole, but also handsome enough for most people to ignore his flaws.”

Kai chooses this moment to roll by on his skates, but he’s too busy to chat and rides off after taking Aaron’s order.

“I don’t know. I just feel it down to my bones that there’s something wrong with him. Every time I see him with Cass, I get this cold, nauseated feeling, and I just wanna punch something.” I have to drink more hot chocolate because my blood pressure is rising at the thought of them fucking to make up. I hope Logan finds a spider on the sofa while they’re doing it. Because yes, I left one. I’m a bad person. But only one, for plausible deniability.

Aaron goes all quiet, just watching me with those weirdly piercing eyes. “Maybe you need to follow their lead, you know? Go on a date or two?” He eventually suggests, but there’s no conviction in his voice.

I huff and cross my arms on my chest. “I’m burned out on chicks. I don’t know if it’s my ex or what, but I don’t want to date right now. All I want to do is to hang out with Cass, go on adventures and eat nice food without having to consider Logan. Is that really so much to ask? When we were kids, we planned that we’ll see all the national parks together, that we’ll never stop going on adventures, and now this guy is in the way of all that.”

“Uh-huh,” Aaron mumbles, resting his sharp chin on the palm of his hand. “You know what, my therapist would have said you’re jealous.”

I swallow that bitter pill. “I guess I am jealous of his time. But can you blame me? We all only have twenty-four hours in a day. If he’s hanging out with Logan, then we’re not having that movie night or going hiking.”

“Yeah, but you also have other friends. Maybe even other than me,” Aaron said with a smirk.

Sure, there’s the friends I made at the pool, people I have classes with, the old lady whose dog I walk sometimes, and the girl I met at the grocery shop.

“But it’s different with him…” I stare into my cup.

It’s as empty as my heart feels.

No one could ever replace Cass for me. Even when I was head over heels in love with Emily, he still played first fiddle. I’m disappointed that he doesn’t seem to feel the same way.

He’s probably so busy with Logan he doesn’t even remember our argument anymore.

“Look, Matt, it might be a long shot, but hear me out with an open mind, okay?” Aaron finally asks, capturing my gaze. “What if you’re not just jealous of his time? What if you’re jealous of… you know… him,” he muses, with sadness twisting his lips.

That now familiar nervous feeling twists in my stomach. I’m finally hearing what Aaron is saying. And I’m not dismissing it right away.

This is bad.

Very bad.

I swallow, unable to speak as I process this concept, rolling it back and forth in my head.

I do like how Cass smells. I love his jokes. He’s super handsome.

But it doesn’t mean I’m gay, does it?

I don’t want to touch him.

…Or do I want to touch him?

We’re bros, dudes, best friends.

I sit there in silence, thinking back to how I picked him up to the counter today, how I stood between his legs, and how, possibly-maybe, I felt something when touching his thighs.

I flinch when Kai passes by, leaving an espresso and a pastry.

“You’re thinking about it,” Aaron says so softly I barely hear him over the music.