Page 13 of An Uncertain Road

Instead, his knees were likely to buckle if he tried to lift a foot.

Mrs. Montfort’s eyebrows raised as she waited. “Are you coming?”

His pride wouldn’t let him say no. Then he would have to admit to her that he was terrified of riding in a car again. So Jensen forced himself to open the passenger side door. Then he managed to get one foot onto the running board.

You can do this. Just get in the car.

Mrs. Montfort watched him too closely, eyes narrowed as if she could read what was going on in his mind. Leaning across the seat, she rested one warm hand on his fingers, which gripped the dashboard. “Jensen, I’ve never seen you get in the car. You always have one of the other men ride along with me when we test drive it. Combined with your…interest…in safety, I’m beginning to wonder if you have a fear of cars.”

He wouldn’t call it fear…more a paralyzing distaste. Either way, the result was the same. He looked like a weak fool. "It’s just been a long time, Mrs. Montfort."

When he glanced up at her, he didn’t see the judgment or mockery he expected. She looked concerned and caring. Her mouth opened, and she drew a breath as if she wanted to ask more about it. He swallowed hard. There was no way he could explain the situation to her. The unspoken rule in the Harrison family was that they didn’t talk about what happened to Gregory.

To his relief, she leaned back and offered a soft smile instead of more questions. "It’s past time you start calling me Flora. If you’d like.”

Holding her gaze, he decided her brown eyes weren’t the same as chocolate or soft leather. They were a special, warm shade all their own, one he very much enjoyed examining.

She couldn’t know what his hesitation stemmed from, the connection of this moment to the one that had changed his life forever. But even without knowing, she managed to convey the right amount of compassion. He drew strength from that and managed to force his body into the seat next to her, hoping his rough voice was loud enough she could hear his response. "I’d like that very much. Flora."

It was nice to say her name, but almost overly familiar at the same time. Less than a foot separated them, and that swath of air was charged with a peculiar energy as they held each other’s gaze, both as serious as could be. He hadn’t expected such intensity when she finally felt comfortable enough to allow him the use of her given name.

Flora turned away first and started the car. Before he was quite ready, they were moving. Outside the shop, the streets had filled with revelers celebrating the holiday. Boys chased girls with small popping fireworks, making the girls squeal in mock protest when they were caught. Older people sat on their porches, smiling at the sights. Young parents gathered their small children close as they went in search of a good viewing spot for the fireworks show.

But amidst it all, Jensen couldn’t shake the strangeness of being back in a car.

As Flora accelerated, his chest felt as though a boulder sat on it, making full breaths impossible, which was torture in the heavy July heat. The seats in the Decauville were not wide, leaving very little room between the two of them. Every time she turned the wheel even a little, her arm brushed his.

Over the distance of a dozen city blocks, the car ran perfectly, as Jensen expected after the work they’d done that day. He found himself settling into the rhythm of the movement, the speed not bringing back terrible memories as he’d assumed it would, but instead feeling like freedom. That was one of the few good things he remembered from five years ago.

Darkness had fallen by the time Flora stopped on a side street to turn around so they could go back to the shop. At the same moment, the first blast from the fireworks show rang out.

Raising his voice so she would hear him over the engine and the explosions, he pointed toward the sky. “Why don’t we stay a few minutes and watch?” They had an excellent view right where they were.

Her eyes warmed again, reflecting the sparkles above. She nodded and turned off the engine, the silence between them only marked by pops and bangs. As the moment grew more intimate while they sat in the dark alone, Jensen did his best to scoot toward the door, giving her as much space as he could squeeze out of the seat.

But that didn’t mean he could distance his mind from awareness of her. They sat together in silence for a long time while Jensen watched Flora gasp and cheer with a charmed smile, along with all the other spectators.

“This is madness and pure joy mixed together. I’d forgotten how it felt,” she said.

“Yes, there’s nothing more American than expressing yourself with loud, uncontrolled passion.”

Her smile faded into pensiveness. “That’s quite accurate. You say it as though it’s a bad thing, but compared to what I’ve been accustomed to, it’s a lovely way to live.”

Something in her words reminded him of Gregory, who had also believed in living out what he loved without apology. Familiar tightness gripped Jensen’s stomach, and his breathing hitched. “It’s not all lovely. That independent streak leads to trouble more times than it needs to.”

Glancing at him, Flora tipped her head to one side, as if she was trying to decode his statement. He cleared his throat, wishing he could take those words back. They paved the way for her to ask questions, to push at his secrets. He was letting her in far more than he ever imagined he would. He needed to put space—emotional and physical—between them before she dug too deep and uncovered the one truth he needed to keep to himself.

A particularly loud boom reverberated through the streets. Flora’s gaze lingered on him for another second, then she turned away to watch the fireworks light up the sky in shimmering tendrils again. Jensen, however, could only think about how close he was to revealing a part of himself that must stay hidden. If the truth about Gregory’s accident got out, the Harrisons would never forgive him. He would lose the only family he had left in the world, the only people he’d felt were on his side since his parents died. He was on the verge of losing his job, and he had no passions or plans to pursue. He couldn’t lose the only good thing he had left.

No matter how much he enjoyed her company or how attractive he found her—both in looks and heart—he had to keep Flora out of his life.

CHAPTER 7

Four days after the Fourth of July, anticipation rose in Flora’s heart as she drove toward the towering New York City skyline. Philadelphia wasn’t exactly a small town, but compared to Paris or New York, it felt like one. Flora preferred the vibrant feel of a big city. For all the struggles she’d gone through there, Paris had been a wonderful place to live. New York felt similar, while also having its own unique atmosphere.

But more than that, this was the beginning of something new for her. This opportunity would give her the purpose she’d been missing for most of her life.

In the back seat of the car, Fred and Beth exclaimed with delight over the sights they saw driving through the crowded city streets. Beth, especially, seemed as taken with it as Flora was. “Look at the size of those buildings! I love the variety of architecture. And the fashion is sublime. I saw a woman wearing the most charming feather-covered hat back there. Oh, Fred, maybe someday we can settle here.”