Page 43 of An Uncertain Road

“The best way to combat shame is to talk about it. Of course, you should speak to Fred before we leave. He deserves the same explanation you gave me. And you know you’ll have to face the rest of the Harrisons when we return. You have to bring it into the open if you want to find any peace in your life.”

* * *

Jensen knew she was right. He’d thought of little else since Archie first threatened him. If the Harrison Goods team somehow reached the finish line of the tour unscathed, Archie would find a way to exact his revenge, likely in a similar fashion to what he’d just done with Fred. The satisfaction and anticipation on Archie’s face as he’d lounged in the doorway made Jensen fear that this was only the first in a line of moves he had planned to hurt the Harrison Goods team.

But looking into Flora’s beautiful face, Jensen couldn’t stand to worry her further. Archie was his problem. This entire situation existed because Jensen hadn’t done the right thing five years ago. “That’s my plan, as soon as we set foot in Philadelphia. As for Fred, I’ll let him cool off for a bit. But I intend to sort the truth out of whatever Archie said as soon as Fred is ready to hear it.”

Jensen stood and held out his arm for Flora. Once she joined him, they strolled together to the door of her room, both lost in their thoughts on the way.

She paused before entering and looked up at him. “Talking to Fred sooner is better than later. Otherwise, he’ll take Mr. Franklin’s spin on the truth to heart, and I’m sure that will lead to more confusion and hurt. Don’t delay.”

He leaned against the wall next to her, their bodies separated by mere inches. This close, he could see a smear of dirt across her neck, a remnant of a day on the road. Her hair was starting to fall from the loose arrangement she always wore, although that may have been due to his hand shifting it when they’d kissed in the dining room.

The memory of that kiss would be burned into his mind forever. Jensen couldn’t imagine what the future might hold for them, but he felt for the first time that it could involve them being together, after all. They might be able to work through his messes and come out on the other side stronger—and together.

There was just so much heartbreak to get through first.

Reaching out, he stroked one finger across her cheek. As it had before their kiss, desire darkened her eyes, sending a jolt of longing through Jensen. She knew what kisses like this could lead to, and her expression showed she had more than a little interest in it.

But as much as he could see a future with her becoming possible someday, he still wasn’t in a place to make promises. He didn’t have a career to return to. He was embroiled in a mess of his own making that threatened her safety. Jensen dropped his hand and stepped back. He would have to sort out his past mistakes before making plans for their future.

Flora’s face fell, but she reached out to touch his arm. “Don’t forget, you’ve done nothing to be ashamed of. Regret, yes. But shame will destroy you and your relationship with the Harrisons. Get it all out in the open and healing can start.”

Then she leaned forward and planted a light kiss on his cheek before spinning around and disappearing into her room. Jensen let the sensation of her lips on his skin linger for as long as possible. Then he went to his room, though he certainly wouldn’t sleep well with the next day’s responsibility hanging over him.

He was up and ready in the morning before the light started to break on the horizon. He situated himself at the dining room table closest to the door in a seat that let him see into the lobby Fred would have to pass through if he came to breakfast. Before long, Beth appeared by herself, her face gaunt. Jensen’s heart clenched. Had his terrible choices unintentionally hurt her too?

She lowered herself into the chair opposite him and spoke without hesitation. “He’s not coming to breakfast, so you might as well stop looking so hopeful.”

Jensen sank back against his chair. “Was I that obvious?”

Nodding, she helped herself to a biscuit from his untouched plate. “He’s on the porch in the back. It was otherwise deserted when I left him there, so this is as good a time as you’re going to get to discuss what happened.”

Jensen immediately rose, even as his heart clenched at the reality of the conversation to come.

She looked up as he stepped away from the table. “He wants to reconcile with you. Archie told him quite a few things, and I don’t believe many of them. But he’s confused. Try to remember, he cares about you and wants to remain close. You’re the only brother he has left.”

Those words propelled Jensen out of the dining room and toward the back entrance of the hotel. There he did indeed find Fred sitting alone, no one else around to overhear more of their private business. He claimed a creaky wooden chair next to Fred, praying his friend wouldn’t leave in anger again.

And thankfully, he didn’t. Fred kept his eyes trained on the small stretch of lawn behind the hotel, bringing up the subject hanging between them without resorting to small talk. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Jensen weighed his words carefully. Fred might bolt if he started wrong. “I have no defense to offer for keeping details about Gregory’s death from your family for all this time. I only hope you can understand how the weight of it has burdened me since that day. I felt I was doing you all a favor, letting Archie take the blame so you’d have someone to put it on. But I knew all along it was wrong.”

Somehow, the words he managed to utter must have been the right ones. When he glanced up, Fred was staring at him, unshed tears gathering in his eyes. “Is this why you never wanted to talk with me about my brother?”

Jensen could only nod.

Fred let out his breath in a rush. “I never understood why everyone went silent when his name came up. I was young and idolized him, and when he was gone, I longed for someone to share memories of my brother with me. But no one would.”

The pain was so clear in Fred’s voice that Jensen felt the physical blow of it. “I’m so sorry, Fred. I hate that I never did that for you.”

Fred sighed. “I suppose we ought to sort through everything Archie told me. Beth kept saying how outlandish most of it was, but I suppose there are grains of truth hidden in his lies.”

For the next half hour, they talked about the things Archie had said—many of which were outlandish, indeed. Jensen told Fred about the amazing mind Gregory had for engines and how he would figure things out all on his own and then teach them to Jensen. He told Fred how proud Gregory had been to have a younger brother. “He always claimed you’d replace me as his racing partner as soon as you were old enough to.”

Fred smiled at that. “Thank you for your honesty, Jensen. I can tell you’ve finally told me everything. And it feels good to be talking about Gregory. I hope it’s healing for you too.”

Jensen had to admit that it was. There was a lightness filling his chest that he hadn’t experienced in years. Even the thought of the coming confession to Fred’s parents brought less fear than any other time he’d imagined it.