Page 45 of Her Royal Rebellion

“You don’t need to thank me for doing my job.”

Ugh. That word made me cringe. “Is that all it is?”

He frowned. “Isla, you know it’s not. I didn’t mean it like that. I would have come for you no matter what. The second I found out you were missing, my world stopped spinning. The only thing that mattered was finding you. I’m just so grateful my first instinct was right. We were on the plane headed to Suruso when you called Cian and let him know where you were. I was worried we were heading in the wrong direction, but it was like my heart and soul knew where you were.”

“The moment I realized what happened, everything you taught me about staying calm and buying time took over, and I knew you were on your way. I was honestly never that scared because of that.”

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, reveling in the contact. I needed him to know. My body couldn’t contain it a second longer. I tilted my head up to him and saw emotions swirling in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

His hesitation made my heart race. A million thoughts ran through my mind and none of them good.

“Isla, I don’t want to take advantage of this situation.”

“What do you mean?” I searched his face for a sign of what he was trying to tell me.

“You’ve been through so much, not just today. The past few weeks have been a lot for you. Your parent’s decision to invite strangers to come meet you. The disruption to your life. There’s been so much and I completely understand that you’d feel overwhelmed or emotional. I want to be here for you, but I also want you to have the space you need to think and sort through everything.” He paused and I tried to interrupt but he continued. “I don’t want you to jump into anything or make any decisions you may regret later.”

I shook my head, not understanding where this was all coming from. “You don’t want to be with me?”

All the progress I thought we made felt like it was flying over the edge of the cliffs and crashing into the Atlantic.

“No, I…” He rubbed his hand over his face. “I just don’t want to pressure you into anything after all you’ve been through. I’m trying to give you a chance to process on your own. You said back at the… you said you needed space. I’m trying to give that to you.”

“I don’t need to process. I know exactly what I want and what will make me happy.”

He flinched like I’d punched him. “I want that to be me, more than anything. But Isla, can you honestly say that a life with me is what you pictured for yourself?”

Now it was my turn to feel hurt. “What do you mean, Logan? Did I imagine and dream of falling in love with a good, honest, loving man? Yes. That’s exactly what I’ve always wanted.”

He sighed and looked away. “I want it to be that simple, but it’s not. Not for us.”

“Because I’m a princess?”

“And because I’m a Marine. I’m your guard.”

I was getting more and more frustrated. “Stop using that as a wall to hide behind.”

“It’s the truth. We can’t ignore it.”

“What does it matter? If you were a baker or an artist or a member of parliament, it wouldn’t change anything.”

He closed his eyes. “I’m not trying to hurt you or push you away. I just need to know that you really understand how much is at stake. Neither of us can be impulsive or selfish.”

So, that’s what he thought of me right now? “I understand perfectly.” My voice shook with each word. “I think you’re right. I do need some space to process.”

I turned and hurried to the stairs, heading to the room I’d claimed. I shut the door behind me and collapsed on the bed. How had things gone from perfect to completely wrecked so quickly?

I thought we were on the same page. We were supposed to be enjoying being alone for the first time ever. We should be cuddling on the porch, soaking in the feeling of being in each other’s arms.

I let out a frustrated sigh. This wasn’t at all what I wanted. I thought coming here would give us a chance to put the politics and expectations aside, just for a few days. Why was it always the same thing? Yes, I had responsibilities and there were plenty of eyes watching me. Each person thought they knew best for my life, but when was the last time someone asked me directly?

I just wanted to shut out the world and be with Logan, let him see what being together would be like. I knew in my heart we were meant to be together. I knew my feelings weren’t one sided. I was scared, too. I just didn’t let that overshadow everything else.

He had pressure on him too. So why didn’t he see that as something we had in common, something that only we could truly understand about each other rather than a reason to keep us apart?

Now would be a wonderful time to have Charlie or Serena around to talk to, but I wasn’t ready for the world to know my location. They knew I was safe and with Logan, and for now that had to be enough.