Page 130 of Tell No Lies

“I worked on my solo for two hours. I’m pretty comfortable with it now. I actually got ice for a bath, so if you don’t have anything you need to talk to me about, I’m going to go put that in my tub.” I turned, hoping for a quick escape.

“Sit.”

Or not.

“You’re honestly not going to tell me about Mike?” He feigned hurt.

“You already knew.”

“How did you know?”

“I’m not usually greeted by an inquisition of my daily activities.” I folded my arms over my chest. Discussing this in front of Carter didn’t feel right, especially since I’d landed him in the hospital just two days ago.

“Enough with the attitude, munchkin. So, you and Mike? How did that happen?”

“He told me he didn’t want to be just friends anymore, so we’re trying the couple-thing.”

“Well, I’m happy for you. Mike’s a good guy, and I know he really likes you.”

“Yeah, I know.”

I snuck a look at Carter. He had been silent through this conversation and was staring straight ahead at the muted TV. There was nothing I wanted more than to be able to read his mind right then.

I waited for a few more heartbeats and finally fled the room before either of them could see my disappointment. I was happy about being with Mike, as long as I didn’t think about Carter. That was probably not a good sign.

The ice bath came as a sort of punishment for myself. I shivered in the cold as random shots of pain assaulted my body. After a few more minutes, I stood and toweled off.

The one upside of the torture session was how it cleared my mind. Carter made it clear how he felt about me, and I needed to accept that. I wasn’t going to let some unrequited crush ruin what I had right in front of me.

With new resolve, I walked into my room but soon stopped. Carter was sitting on the edge of my bed, looking down at his clasped hands.

He apparently heard me and met my eyes. The little fact that I had only a towel around me slipped my mind.

“Carter?”

His cheeks flushed when he took in the sight of me before looking back at his hands. “I want to talk …”

I nodded, even though he wasn’t looking at me, and hurried to my closet to change into sweats and a tank top. When I returned, Carter was still in the same position. I debated whether or not to sit next to him but decided distance might be necessary and instead took a seat at my desk. I stared at his profile, waiting for him to speak. His blond hair was getting long. A few rogue strands formed a wave that fell over his eyes. I fought the urge to move to him, to run my hands through his hair and look into his eyes. Another fantasy that would never come true.

“I don’t know what to say.” He didn’t move, didn’t look at me. He might not have even intended to have said it aloud.

“What do you want, Carter?” I wondered if he could sense how much I meant with those words. My heart was beating against my chest. I had spent the past thirty minutes convincing myself of my feelings for Mike; now I was practically begging Carter to tell me he had feelings for me too.

“It doesn’t matter what I want. Not anymore.”

Something inside me snapped. “Stop. Please, just stop with the vague, moody B.S. You can’t keep going back and forth and dragging me with you. You kissed me, Carter. You also avoided me after. You’re my hero when I need you, then you tell me to go be with someone else. Just stop it.” I felt like a fool for allowing the flood in my eyes to break. I thought I was done crying over him. “If all you are is my friend, fine. If you want to be another big brother, fine. If you want to be something more, fine! But I need you to decide what you want and finally follow through.”

I felt like I’d just finished a five-mile run from the way my heart was slamming against my ribs and how shallow my breathing was. I waited for any sign that he’d heard what I said.

Finally, after too long, he turned his head toward me. “I can’t have you, Aubrey. You’re my best friend’s seventeen-year-old sister. Do you know how many things are wrong with that?” I could see pain that matched my own in his eyes.

“I know.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“Then you know that nothing can happen between us. Despite how strong my feelings are for you, how you’re the only thing I think about, how much the idea of you being with someone like Mike kills me, I can’t be with you. I just want you to be happy.” His voice cracked when he said those final words.

I’d always known that heartbreak hurt. It was pretty self-explanatory. I felt it when I found out Derek had cheated on me and when Luke dumped me right after formal. But this was something else: a deep physical pain that brought me to my knees. I didn’t remember how I went from sitting on my chair to the fetal position on the floor. I didn’t remember crying. All I could feel was my chest collapsing in with such an immense pain that I’d never before experienced.

My sobs must have reached Brandon, since he was suddenly next to me, lifting me up, and laying me on my bed. I felt his hands brush my hair away from my face. He was speaking, but I heard nothing. That was when I realized I was breaking down in front of him over his best friend’s denial of my love.