Page 25 of Secret Sins

"All the years I spent being an errand boy for the Vitale brothers should have brought me some respect, but they couldn't have cared less. I was the fool who got popped doing something completely stupid, so they turned their backs on me. I went in thinking I'd have protection and job security when my time was up." The sound he made personified derision.

"It wasn't like that, was it?"

"Not even a little bit." His eyes slipped closed again, hiding from his words. "The people I thought were my friends, who I claimed as family, dropped my ass. Those on the inside pretended they didn't know me. Turned a blind eye as the lifers treated me like their new little fish."

My tongue wanted to stick to the roof of my mouth. Uncapping my water, I wet my lips and swished some around to unlock the dryness. Just because I'd spent my life in one small town didn't mean I was naïve. I'd gone to college here, only venturing further for vacation once in a blue moon. I wasn't the only single woman in my age range, but I was the only one of my friends who hadn't found a partner yet. Without my parents around, I'd had a difficult childhood, but Riley had stepped up triplefold. Once she'd met Jay, he'd become a father figure for me. I'd had a high school boyfriend, and then we'd gone our separate ways, friends but no longer lovers. My life wasn't hard, despite all I'd overcome. I wanted to picture a man who chose the life Van had led, who intentionally did those things when he apparently had other choices. If he'd seen his sister grapple her way out of torment, then interrupting the scene he'd witnessed would have been second nature.

I tried wrapping my head around all of it, but I didn't have a clue what it must have been like for him.

"You don't have to tell me everything," I whispered finally.

"At this point, I need to get it out." Those startling eyes focused on me, nearly as vibrant and intense as the ocean. "The point is, I lost every ounce of ego I used to carry around. As the low man on the ladder, they all stepped over me to get to what they wanted. I spent every second of every day for four fucking years watching my back. There's no sleep when you know your cellmate will fucking stab you in the eye to watch you bleed for his entertainment. When men will punch you in the face to stave off boredom, you learn to observe your surroundings very carefully."

A shudder ran through my body. "Can I—" Breaking off, I stared at his hunched shoulders. Without finishing my question, I scooted over and rested my head against him.

"When I was sentenced, the DA tried to get me to turn on the brothers, to be a snitch, and I refused. I knew the rules; if I kept my mouth shut, they'd protect me. But where's the truth in a promise made by a criminal? I didn't take the deal, and the offer was rescinded."

Inhaling the scent of the ocean on his t-shirt, I clung to his side as he spilled the rest of his soul into my lap.

"When they came back around asking for information, I was as desperate as a man can get. My sister had struggled through the first few years of college after what happened to her, but she'd become an excellent lawyer with a great husband. I'd refused her help the first time, but once she passed the bar, she insisted on being my lawyer. She was the only one who visited me in hell. Our parents disowned me."

"She helped you get out?"

"Early release in exchange for ratting out the Vitale brothers."

It clicked in my brain. "And they're the ones looking for you?"

"They're in prison, thanks to me. Maximum security. But their men, the ones who are loyal to a fault, they vowed all kinds of heinous things if they ever found me. I never took the oath as an errand boy, but they threatened me as though I had sworn my loyalty to them and then betrayed that oath, knowing death is the only possible outcome."

"When you said you've had Heidi for six years . . ."

"She's been with my sister, Beth, the majority of those years."

"That's a lot to deal with."

His answer was to move his arm from the back of the couch to rest over my shoulder.

"And you came here with nothing, expecting to die at any time?"

"Pretty much."

He was a criminal, regardless of the motives behind the beating. He'd worked for the mafia and would probably be considered a major player in their organization by the law. Caged in by past mistakes, trying to form a new life under the blade of the guillotine.

"One thing prison takes away from a person is simple trust. I used to drive a fancy car, live in a fancy loft, and dine in fine restaurants. Bourbon was my drink of choice, and I enjoyed it often. One minute, I called the shots in my life, and the next I wasn't worth the dirt under someone's shoe."

My head began to throb. "Can you formally hide? Like, go into witness protection or something?"

"You sound like Beth."

The touch of his fingertips on my bare arm was enough to make me lose track of what we were discussing. Almost.

"I didn't see the point. I have no one, and no one has me."

That's not true, my mind screamed. "You have a sister, a brother-in-law, and a beautiful dog." Tilting my head to see his profile, I murmured, "You have me."

Chapter 11

Van