Page 34 of Secret Sins

But I'd put most of that behind me. I'd gained freedom here, even if it came with shadows of secrecy and looming threats. If I gave in to Bailey's wishes, as I'd so easily agreed to do, then I had more to protect than myself.

She had a family, albeit an unconventional one, who would be impacted if anything happened to her. In her mind, she was unencumbered, able to choose her path in life without hesitation. Unlikely to have even considered how Riley would feel if the Vitale men found me with her and used her against me. Or, fuck, they could use her family against me and her to get what they wanted. After all, they had no scruples whatsoever.

"I thought I might find you here."

The exact words I never wanted to hear from anyone. Catching sight of Heidi a few feet away, I judged how long it would take for her to return to me if I called her over. She was distracted for now, but would undoubtedly come running soon.

"How did you know I'd be here?" There was no use in panicking. I'd accepted this a long time ago, if I were being honest with myself.

"You're kind of predictable."

Well, fuck. That was the opposite of my intentions. "What's predictable about me?"

"For one, you take your dog down here every chance you get."

"But I take her at different times of the day."

Speaking of the dog, she spotted us and charged in our direction. Squealing at the full weight of a wet labrador retriever jumping on her, Bailey laughed and allowed Heidi to lick her face.

"She likes you."

"I'm very likable, Van."

All I could do was smile. The anxiety that used to crash over me in Bailey's presence had faded.

"You hightailed it pretty quick after Mama sold you those books." Sitting on the wet sand, Bailey accepted more of Heidi's affection, scratching her behind the ears and down her neck.

"She's . . . a force unto herself."

Blocking the sun from her eyes, Bailey looked up at me. I sat beside her so she wouldn't have to squint, and she watched Heidi run off again. "She's loud, that's for sure."

"And pushy, and wonderful, and I can tell she dotes on you."

"She and Jay both do. Why does that apparently bother you?" Since she was close beside me, Bailey leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Because you have more to lose by being with me than I originally took into consideration."

"You're not backing out of our deal, are you?"

The resigned tone in her voice hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball. I'd done that to her; given her every reason not to take me at my word. "I don't want to back out."

"But?"

"But you have to understand it's more than merely you and me. It's your foster parents, it's your friends, it's the townspeople. So many of them count on you, Bailey."

"You should give me more credit." Dragging her finger through the sand, she created a drawing of waves and a shining sun. "Why can't I have what I want, but everyone else can?"

"What they want doesn't come served with a side of danger."

"Any of them could drown, or be hit by a bus, or die of a heart attack. Any of them could be robbed in broad daylight. Do you think they should hide in their closets because life is scary?"

Tilting my head down to study the side of her face, I wondered how she could put everything into perspective so offhandedly. It seemed obvious when she said it that way.

I welcomed the warm weight of her body aligned with mine. There was more of her I craved; so much more. When my only companions had been my inner thoughts and a dog for so long, I didn't even know how to deal with an accepting human.

"No, they shouldn't hide from life. Their odds aren't the same as mine, but I understand your point." Nudging her red Converse, I said, "Maybe I even agree with it."

A few moments of silence passed. "Riley has command of Bookish. Do you want to get some lunch?"