Page 43 of Secret Sins

There was nothing in my thoughts. No worries, no expectations. I was a ball of need and pleasure, my veins pulsing with desire. Thumb on my clit and fingers inside me, Van brought me to the brink of something I'd never experienced quite the same way before.

And then he pushed me over, our bodies colliding in a wave of exquisite fulfillment. My muscles locked around his hand, my mouth fused to his, and I cried out as my orgasm took over.

"My God," I mumbled, nuzzling into his neck as I caught my breath.

He moved, his hands roaming over my shirt. I couldn't believe I hadn't even bothered to take it off, but I figured I should remedy that situation. Tugging it over my head and throwing it on the floor, I joined him wearing nothing but a bra and terribly wet panties. Feeling how hard he was against my leg, I reached out to stroke Van's cock.

But he covered my hand with his before I could. "Bailey, please don't."

Freezing in place, I tried to order my thoughts. We hadn't rushed into this. He wanted me; he'd admitted as much plenty of times. Clearly, he was good at sex, considering the way he'd reduced me to a puddle just a few seconds ago.

"What's wrong?" I asked him softly.

Rolling, he pulled my semi-naked body into the little spoon position. I felt him, still insistently hard, on my back.

"Nothing's wrong."

And yet, he fell silent, merely dragging his fingertips up and down my arm.

"Van." Licking my lips, I tried again. "Please talk to me."

"I'm trying to figure out how to not fuck this up, that's all."

"Baby, you can't."

But he interrupted me, kissing the top of my shoulder. "I want you so bad it scares me."

That was something I could try to make sense out of. "Why does it scare you?"

"We've seen what can happen in an instant. I know we've already passed the point where we won't get hurt." Van's breath stuttered, blowing tendrils of hair against my earlobe. "But once we've taken this final step . . ."

His heart thumped against my back, and I felt goosebumps rise along my skin. I already loved him, and that wouldn't change. And yes, I'd tried to accept that my heart might get trampled or possibly broken. Not by Van. Not the man who had every opportunity to fuck me carelessly and hadn't. But by the circumstances in which we found ourselves.

I'd promised to stay by his side as long as he remained honest with me, and I would keep my word. So I figured he might need to hear that from me instead of assuming the worst.

"Listen." At my words, he shifted along my back, curling his arm beneath me until I felt cocooned in his warmth. "I know what the consequences of loving you are."

"Do you?" His voice came out harshly, but I understood his need to ensure my safety.

"Yes," I insisted. "I love you."

A tremble ran through him. "Nobody has said that to me since Beth helped me get out of prison. Nobody ever said it before her, either, except in the brief time before my parents disowned me."

That was fucking enraging, and made me hate his parents so much. However, there was no room for those emotions in my bed, so I shoved them off to the side with a fierceness I didn't even know I possessed. With every single cell in my body, I vowed to show him and tell him so he never had to doubt it.

With that in mind, I untangled our bodies and stood. Finding the candle and matches on my dresser, I lit a match and set the wick aflame. Turning to see him watching me, I peeled the straps of my bra down my arms. Letting it fall to the floor, I dragged my panties down until they joined the rest of my clothes.

Sitting up, Van wiped his thumb across his mouth. The hint of candlelight flickered in his eyes, and I knew why I'd waited so long to bring a man into my bed.

"I've been waiting for you, Van. Waiting for you to come along and disrupt the monotony I called a life."

Moving forward, I climbed onto the bed behind him and pushed his shirt up and off his head. Gasping at the sight of a full tattoo covering his muscular back, I trailed my fingertips over the swirls and lines of black ink.

"It's so easily identifiable," he rasped.

So he would have kept it covered at all costs. My emotions swelled inside me; one more secret revealed for me alone.

"It's beautiful," I whispered.