Page 47 of Last Rites

The pinch between his brows relaxed, and I let myself fall into the dark pools of his eyes. They were boundless things, so brown they were almost black. The void had never frightened me. I saw him best there, the deepest, truest parts of himself.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

I slumped through a heavy breath. “Quite fine. I almost wish I had something to show for all that fuss. Something besides the bruise to my pride.”

“Best you don’t,” Kit said softly. “If Cedric really had harmed you, I would have given him cause to regret it.”

“I’m going to regret it,” I muttered, dragging my fingers through the damp ends of my hair. “Merrick will send me somewhere else now. Somewhere worse.”

“You don’t know that.”

“He’ll find something awful,” I insisted, “even if he has to make it up. He’s spiteful like that. You know.”

Kit chewed his bottom lip but said nothing.

“Can I tell him no?” I asked. My voice came out thinner than I liked, a tremor beneath the words. “Can I just…” I sighed. “I really am a layabout. Here I’m begging to be your house husband and we aren’t even married yet. I told you I wouldn’t do that.”

“If it were allowed,” he said gently, “I would much prefer you stay here.”

I searched his expression and saw only resignation. “But it’s not allowed.”

He shook his head. Reaching up, he brushed the fringe of hair back from my forehead, curling it carefully behind my ear. “I think we should go to bed,” he murmured.

“I’m not… tired,” I lied. I may not have been sleepy, but I was bone-weary. Riddled with a kind of exhaustion that would topple me before long.

Because of that, it didn’t take much effort for Kit to pull me in. His bare skin was heated from the bath, and it slid smoothly over mine. Chests brushing, arms encircling me, then his face nuzzling in. Kisses up the side of my throat spurred me to tilt my head, giving him access to the spot where my pulse beat strongest.

“Kit…” I began while gooseflesh prickled across my shoulders.

His hand roamed lower, over my backside, driving out a sigh.

“Kit,” I tried again, a little more direct as he continued to ghost kisses up my throat.

“Hmm?”

I sighed again because, gods, it felt good. I was finally starting to relax, easing muscles that had been so tense for so long they now ached. But the exhaustion clung on, and maybe it would be best if I did sleep. Or just… closed my eyes for a while.

His other hand traced down my side and over the arch of my hip, where he paused to squeeze. If he touched any lower, I might not be able to deny him.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

His unspoken offer felt like a fragile truce, and to turn it down might hurt him, or drive him away again. I couldn’t bear that. But the events of the day wore heavily on me, and while I was out of the water, I still felt like I was under it. Sinking. Drowning.

What I needed was not to think for a while.

“I’m not…” I swallowed as I pulled slightly back. “I don’t think I’m up to it right now.”

The furrow returned, and Kit looked me over with an air of concern. He excelled at worrying, and I gave him every cause.

“What if I…?” His lips twisted, cutting off the question. “Perhaps I could be up to it this time, if you’d rather. Let me take care of you for once.”

Realization dawned, aided by the flush of color that dusted Kit’s cheeks.

I knew I’d been his first, and I’d been little more than a novice myself. Our intimate endeavors had grown bolder over time, and I would venture to say I was improving. But our bedroom roles had remained constant. Kit had shown no interest in changing things, but it seemed he had a different thought now.

The heat of his palm on my backside felt suddenly searing.

“Oh…” I wet my lips.