Page 70 of Last Rites

It was fully dark by the time we made it to the kitchen and sat down to a makeshift dinner of day-old bread and the dregs of a jar of blackberry jam. We’d barely finished off the last slices before a knock sounded from the front door.

Penny and I shared a brief, nervous look as I rose from the table. He stood, too, trailing after me when I crossed to the entryway.

This time, the faces on the front stoop were welcome guests. I stepped back as Rosie, Isla, and Thoma barreled inside without so much as a greeting.

“We need to come up with a plan,” Rosie said as I closed the door behind them.

I came back around to stand next to Penny. “A plan for what?” I asked, though I had my suspicions already.

“Forstford is your home,” Isla said. “We can’t go through with this.”

The other two nodded along, but I shook my head.

“We don’t have a choice. Merrick said he’s sending people with us to make sure we do it.”

Rosie’s fists balled at her sides, and a flush of annoyance darkened her cheeks. “I’m not willing to give up⁠—”

“No.” I held up a hand to stop further protest. “No more plans. No more schemes. We’re done. We should have been done after Millfield, and I will regret that I gave in on that until the day I die.”

Beside me, Penny’s shoulders curled in and he muttered, “That day’s going to come pretty damn quick if we do nothing.”

Heat flared in my chest, eating up my insides the same way it had when I’d discovered Penny’s altar to Eeus, edged in a fear I still couldn’t shake.

I whipped around to find Penny looking almost sheepish at his own outburst, but the words came out before I could stop them.

“You’re one to talk! You’re the one with the death wish!”

Across from us, Isla straightened with surprise, and Thoma’s brow crinkled as he darted a look between Penny and me.

Penny’s cheeks went red and his mouth opened to snap back, but I slid my hand into his and squeezed.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want us to fight about it again.”

“What are you talking about?” Thoma asked, concern in his voice.

I sighed, gave Penny’s hand one last squeeze, and then gestured to our gathered friends.

“I’ll let you explain, Pen. I’ll go make coffee.”

While I filled the kettle and watched the coffee steep, I could hear every word as Penny explained what he’d learned from Sybil. He’d given the three of them some of the details over the last few months, but he hadn’t just kept the rites from me. When he revealed the worst of it—that he was the backup plan should we fail to stop Merrick from calling Eeus down—Rosie gasped.

“You’re saying Isla and I helped you with this? You didn’t tell us what you were planning with it!” I could hear her ragged breath even from the kitchen. “I never would have done that if I knew you planned to sacrifice yourself!”

“You should’ve told us,” Isla said, so quiet I almost missed it. “We could have figured out another way.”

“There has to be another way,” Rosie insisted, “something that doesn’t end with you dead.”

“If you have another way to make sure Merrick isn’t able to control Eeus when he calls him down, I’m open to ideas,” Penny said, but he was met with silence.

Because there was no other way. I’d put all my efforts into becoming Shroud Warden with the expectation that Levitt would be the Right Hand I served under. My plans couldn’t work without him at my back, rooting out Merrick’s loyalists and telling me who I could trust. If I’d spent more time actively doing anything, if he’d told me any godsdamned details, maybe we wouldn’t have ended up here.

But it was too late now.

I gathered enough mugs for everyone and ferried them and the kettle out to the living room. Thoma and Isla were perched on the edge of the coffee table, and Rosie was huddled on the opposite end of the couch from Penny.

Once mugs were dispersed and filled, I settled next to Penny and slid my arm around his shoulders to tuck him in against my side.

I wasn’t willing to lose any more chances to have him close. Not when those chances felt like they were numbered.