Page 41 of Electric Boy

“I’m saying that you clearly have a great deal to sort out with Rahul before you’re in any position to be in an adult relationship.”

“You’re breaking up with me.”

“I care about you, Julian. So terribly much. I think I could more than care about you. I think I could love you. But you’re not there yet.” He kissed his forehead just as a single tear broke free and slid down Julian’s cheek. He could feel Julian trembling in his hands. “When you’ve sorted out whatever it is that’s going on between you two, call me. I’ll be waiting for you. Until then, I don’t think we should continue to see each other.”

* * *

Mel worried the edge of a vinyl sticker on the glass counter with her thumbnail. It was another dismally dull day at the shop. Rahul had come back from lunch jumpy, which wasn’t unusual in itself. He was a spazzy bloke at the best of times. Julian hadn’t come back from lunch at all. That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary either. He took advantage of the fact that it was his sister that employed him. She wasn’t about to cast him out on the street for turning up late or bunking off after lunch some days -- she knew very well that he wouldn’t be able to hold down a regular job anywhere else, and sacking him would only condemn him to destitution. But Christ if it wasn’t annoying as hell. Especially when she had to mind the counter in his place instead of getting high in her office. She had a routine to stick to, after all.

Mel was entirely prepared for this to be another boring afternoon of cursing her brother under her breath and dealing with customers whose description of the records they were looking for consisted of “that one with the song about the thing.” That plan was, however, thrown out the proverbial window when the shop door banged open, sending the bell above it into hysterics. Julian burst into the shop like hellfire, eyes and cheeks burning red.

At Mel’s side, Rahul stood so quickly that he sent his stool toppling over with a clatter. His tanned skin drained of colour as he laid eyes on Julian. He held his hands up in front of himself, either as a placating gesture or a means of defence. “Jules, I-I-I’m sorry -- I didn’t mean --”

Julian launched himself over the counter and decked Rahul in the jaw. Mel had never witnessed her brother hit anyone. In fact, she had never even heard of him ever hitting anyone. Seeing it was downright shocking. It was like looking at a stranger.

The punch wasn’t exceedingly hard. The disquieting, wet smack of flesh on flesh was still there, but Rahul hadn’t reeled back very far. He looked more hurt emotionally than physically. Though he did bring his fingers up to his lip and they came away wet with bright blood.

“We’re through, you hear me?” Julian growled low. He sounded vicious, compounding the illusion that he was altogether someone else. “We’re done. I never want to see your sodding face again, yeah?”

He turned on his heel and stormed out of the shop. Rahul leapt over the counter like a runner over a hurdle and chased after him out onto the street. Stunned, it took Mel several beats before she clambered up and ran after them both. She was not about to miss this show. You kidding? This was the most interesting thing that’d ever happened at Collier Vinyl. Maybe even in all of South London.

Out on the pavement, Rahul was calling after Julian but the latter refused to turn round. Rahul had the height advantage though, and his long legs caught up to him in no time. He grabbed hold of Julian’s elbow and Julian stopped dead in his tracks, violently shaking Rahul’s hand off. He levelled Rahul with a murderous glare.

“I’m sorry -- I’m so, so sorry, Jules,” Rahul pleaded. “I-I didn’t mean it. It just slipped out. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You told him we slept together!” Julian cried.

Mel wished she had popcorn. This was getting good. She inched over to the side where she could get a better view.

“We swore we’d never talk about it. Ever. You promised me.”

“I know,” Rahul replied, looking genuinely ashamed. “I didn’t mean --”

“You know he chucked me because of it?”

Rahul looked stricken. “He never.”

“He bloody well did. As if that weren’t exactly what you wanted all along.” Julian’s voice cracked around the edges and it was clear to Mel then that the redness of his eyes wasn’t from anger but recent tears.

“I never wanted that.” When Julian snorted, he insisted, “Of course I didn’t. Really I didn’t. But… when you think about it… isn’t this really for the best? I mean, he was a bit dodgy, wasn’t he? Bit of a stalker. You think the first time you’d met was when he quote-unquote ‘rescued’ you, but he’d been ogling you for ages at the Barber before then.”

“D’you think I’m an idiot?” Julian barked, making Rahul jump. “Of course I’d seen him looking at me. I was looking back. I fancied him, you pillock! I’ve always fancied him; I just never knew how to go about it.”

Rahul visibly deflated.

“Why d’you always have to ruin things?” Julian continued, voice becoming high and pinched. “You’re always pushing people away from me. Like you can’t stand to see me happy with anyone who isn’t you.” He tugged desperately at his hair, as if trying to relieve the pressure inside his skull. “Is it that you want me to be as miserable as you are, is that it? You want us to be miserable together?”

“No, I --”

“Everyone who gets close to me, you chase ‘em off. You pushed Aisling out of my life, now you’ve gone and pushed Michael out. Why are you doing this to me?”

“I-I don’t mean to, I --”

“Why? Why can’t you just leave me the fuck alone?”

“Because I love you, you big berk!”

Rahul’s words rang out like an explosion in the street, leaving an unnatural quiet in their wake. Even the sounds of cars and buses were muted after the shock of the confession.