Page 24 of Sunshine Boy

Rahul’s fingers felt thick and clumsy as they fumbled with Julian’s belt, the zip of his trousers. Guessing his intention, Julian leapt in to help, eagerly yanking his trousers and pants down to his knees and flipping over on the couch, proudly displaying his perfect, lily-white arse. Rahul couldn’t help himself. He leaned down and kissed, then bit, into that yielding flesh. Julian gave a yelp of surprise, which soon melted into contented sighs as Rahul kneaded the taut muscle. He loved Julian’s arse. More than he thought possible. He’d dreamt of it, imagined it, fantasised about it. Now that he had it, he could hardly believe his luck. He wanted to worship this perfect arse. Wanted Julian to know how much he loved it.

Even though he’d never done it before, he took a leap outside of his comfort zone and spread Julian’s arse cheeks apart to give a tentative lick at his puckered, pink opening.

Julian gasped and tensed beneath him but didn’t stop him. Taking that as invitation enough, Rahul kissed and teased the entrance with his tongue before delving in, just a little at first, then farther. Julian’s sighs turned to whimpers, encouraging Rahul further. He reached between Julian’s legs, underneath him, and sought out Julian’s erection, pumping in slow, steady jerks in time with the ministrations of his tongue. Before long, Julian’s hips were rolling, down into Rahul’s hand, then back into his mouth.

“Nn-fuck,” Julian cursed, hands clutching at the couch cushions. “Rahul, that’s… Yeah. That’s good. F… fuck…”

Rahul was so attuned to Julian’s body it was as though he’d slipped under his skin, grabbed a hold of his nerves and felt the electric pulses coursing through them. His desire for them to be the same person was so nearly realised. He felt the way Julian drew extra breath into his lungs, the way his heart sped up, his cock throbbed. He was nearing climax. His mounting ecstasy was Rahul’s ecstasy. Without even touching himself, he felt as though he were near. He could have kept going and they both would have come, just like that. But he was inside Julian enough to understand his needs. He knew what he really wanted. And he knew he could give it to him.

He replaced his tongue with fingers. Two, to start. Then three. Stretching and preparing, the way he’d been taught. Julian was used to it. He took two fingers like nothing and only whimpered in pleasure at three. Rahul could attribute it to loosening him with his tongue, but he knew it was likely because he was regularly fucked by that bastard. Now wasn’t the time to think about that, though. He quelled the anger in his chest before it could take root. Who cared about Michael when it was his fingers up Julian’s arse?

He withdrew said fingers from his friend’s bum before going to his own trousers and fumbling with the button. That’s when he hesitated again.

“Erm, sorry.” He winced, hating how awkward he sounded. “D’you have a condom? I didn’t…”

“Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Julian stammered eagerly, slipping out from under Rahul to pull a drawer open in his coffee table. He retrieved an aluminium sheet and a half-empty jar of Vaseline. Rahul couldn’t help chuckling a little as Julian shoved them into his hands. They had a moment then, when their eyes locked, and everything suddenly became very real. Julian’s face hadn’t somehow morphed into that of a sexual vixen. He was just Rahul’s friend. His best friend. His crush since childhood. The boy he’d fallen in love with. The man he was still in love with. He was still him, under the mussed hair, unevenly flushed cheeks, and glazed eyes. He was about to fuck his best friend. Scratch that. He was going to make love to his best friend. Because Rahul was going to infuse every ounce of his love into every second of this if it killed him. He needed Julian to know, needed him to feel, his love for him. It wasn’t about gratification. It was about becoming one with him.

He kissed him then, forgetting where his mouth had been. But Julian forgot, too. And they kissed just as desperately as they had at the start. There was something unspoken in that desperation. A silent communication of their needs. Rahul couldn’t put it into words, but somehow he knew what it was Julian was asking. He couldn’t tell you at gunpoint what the answer was, but his body knew. And it was eager to provide.

He rolled off the couch and brought Julian with him. He flipped the smaller man around and onto his knees, bending him over the couch cushions. Julian inhaled sharply and braced himself. The sight of him like that nearly sent Rahul over the edge, but he took a deep, steadying breath and ripped open a silver packet, rolling the condom over his straining member. He dipped his fingers into the Vaseline and retrieved an unconscionably large glob, slathering most of it over Julian’s already wet entrance and the rest over his own cock. Just his own slick touch through the latex made his vision whiteout slightly. He worried about how long he’d last once he… began. This was something he’d wanted for so long, wanted it even before he could put a name to it. It wasn’t just bumming, it was making love to the love of his life -- for real this time. And, not knowing what the future had in store, it might be the only time.

He was worried about whether or not it would measure up to his fantasies, if he’d be good enough for Julian, if this would be the first and last time. The anxiety was thick in his throat, threatening to choke him. He might have spiralled into a full-blown panic attack had Julian not put his hand over his where it gripped his hip. Elbows on the couch, he looked at Rahul from over his shoulder, eyes soft. “Rahul,” he said. That was all, but there was so much in that one word. Like when Rahul has infused his kiss with every fibre of his love, in that single word Rahul heard the comfort Julian offered, his lack of judgement, his life-long loyalty. It’ll be all right, it said. No matter what happens, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.

Overcome with emotion, Rahul leaned over and kissed his forehead. It wasn’t a very sexy thing to do, but it’s what he felt. It was a them thing to do.

He positioned himself behind Julian, nudging the young man’s legs apart until he was sufficiently spread. He held his cock in one hand, Julian’s hip in the other, lined himself up with his loose, glistening entrance, and breathed. I love you, he thought as he pushed inside him, the head of his cock breaching that first tight ring of muscle, before sinking deep within his incredible heat.

“Haahh…” Julian half-gasped, half-cried, his head dropping down and shoulders rising like two sharp ridges.

Rahul had never felt anything like it in his life. Not even being with Henri had felt like this. If he’d thought Julian’s mouth was heaven, it was nothing compared to his molten insides which clamped down on Rahul’s erection like it wanted to draw him in, absorb him. He trembled with the effort to steady himself, to rein in his orgasm which galloped forward with unbridled enthusiasm, heedless of social etiquette.

“God, Rahul, you’re -- fuck, you’re so big -- feel so good,” Julian babbled lewdly, his hips rocking back on their own. Rahul inwardly cursed him. He was not making matters easy. “Julian. Please,” he begged, voice high. He didn’t have to tell him what he wanted. Just like before, he already knew. He could sense it. Julian’s body was his body. Julian’s needs were his needs. He knew what Julian wanted even before Julian knew it.

With one hand on his hip and the other on his shoulder, Rahul let go with complete abandon. Every pent-up desire, every quelled need, every vivid fantasy, every frustrated night spent remembering the one evening they’d been together. He let it all go. He rammed Julian with everything he had. Gentle was for another time, another day, when their lust was manageable, not this exploding, all-consuming miasma that threatened to destroy them from the inside out. He knew what they both needed right now. And it was to bum the living fuck out of Julian until they both saw stars.

“F-fuck -- Christ -- Rahul,” Julian cried brokenly between the violent thrusts. “That -- don’t stop -- Jesus fucking Christ -- like that -- ahh -- don’t stop.”

Rahul couldn’t bring himself to form words the way Julian did. He wished he could. He wanted to shout Julian’s name over and over and over again. He wanted to tell him how good he felt. How he wanted to fuck him all night long. How he loved him. God, he loved him he loved him he loved him. But his throat was caught on his ragged breaths, his laboured grunts. It was clamped tight around the orgasm he’d been staving off since before they’d begun. Every thrust undid him further. Every drag in and out of Julian’s unbelievable arse sent wave after wave of pleasure crashing through his body, threatening to unmake him on a molecular level.

“Rahul,” Julian whined, voice high as a tea kettle, seconds before his body tensed and froze. Rahul rutted into him like an animal in heat. He’d surpassed his orgasm at this point. He’d gone so far beyond arousal he was in another dimension. The simple pleasures of a human release were so far beneath him. He’d ascended to an astral plane where ejaculation had to be chased out with an angry mob and pitchforks. He’d lost all sight of his physical body. He was a being of pure lust. He existed only to fuck, to seek his own release however ephemeral it may be. He was there -- he was so close -- he was going to --

“Fucking shit fuck,” Julian cursed, his insides suddenly closing up around Rahul’s cock and crushing the ever living fuck out of it, taking his soul with it. Just as Julian’s body went limp, Rahul’s entire being collapsed like a dying star and he exploded. His orgasm wracked his body like a car crash, his ejaculation leaving him like a bullet. Somewhere someone made a noise like a strangled moose -- he speculated dispassionately that it must have been him -- and his consciousness fled along with his spunk, leaving him a senseless, empty shell.

He came to panting like a decathlon runner, his cheek resting on Julian’s back. Beneath him, Julian was breathing just as hard. Rahul was still buried deep within him and now, even after getting off, he didn’t want to leave him. He wanted to be one with him for as long as he could. He couldn’t stomach the idea of parting from him. His chest tightened with mounting despair as his mind cleared. Please don’t regret it, he prayed. Please don’t pretend like it meant nothing. He knew Julian had said he wouldn’t regret it, but those had been horny words, coming from a horny and fairly inebriated mind.

He could feel Julian’s heart beating where his chest pressed against Julian’s back. He closed his eyes and stayed there for a moment longer, willing the despair back. Just let me have this moment. Just let me have this.

Then Julian stirred and looked at Rahul over his shoulder. He looked well and thoroughly fucked. Black strands of hair clung to his forehead with sweat, his eyeliner was smeared, his cheeks a patchwork of red, tears clinging to his long lashes. His swollen lips split into a cheeky grin. “That was all right.”

Rahul laughed and his whole body relaxed as though a hundred-ton weight had been lifted from him. Yeah. It was all right, Jules. It was the bloody best.

Chapter Twelve: Love Like Blood

Michael stood in the pouring rain, freezing water soaking him to the bone.

He’d been trying to be good. He’d been trying for Julian’s sake. He’d wanted him to know, to show him that he trusted him. But Julian hadn’t sounded right to him on the phone. He’d sounded distant, nervous. He’d wrestled with his conscience for hours after they’d hung up. He should trust him. He wasn’t just his conquest, his trophy. He was his boyfriend. He needed to act like a normal boyfriend. And normal boyfriends didn’t go to each other’s flats under the cover of night and peep in each other’s windows.

But normal boyfriends also didn’t peer into each other’s windows to find their boyfriend on his knees, getting reamed into oblivion by his best mate. The same best mate he promised wasn’t a threat because he had a boyfriend of his own. Yes, that best mate. The one who was currently balls-deep in Michael’s boyfriend. Michael’s lying, cheating, piece of shit boyfriend.