Page 6 of Sunshine Boy

Mel never celebrated anything, if she could help it, and Rahul was going to his mum’s. Even Kwambe was returning home. Julian would be well and truly alone.

Rahul had an idea then but he hesitated to speak it aloud. He knew there had come an uneasy peace between them since Rahul had begun dating Henri, even if it was darkened slightly by Julian’s storm clouds. Even so, he wasn’t sure they were quite in a place yet for what Rahul had in mind.

Before he could ask, however, Henri returned, snaking an arm around Rahul’s waist. “Are you ready to go, mon coeur?”

Rahul nodded and bid the others farewell. Julian said nothing. Rahul’s gaze lingered on him as he was steered out by Henri.

Only a few tube stops later, they found themselves in Rahul’s flat, tangled in a steamy embrace in Rahul’s bed. And this was where Rahul had his only complaint, as it were, about Henri. His insistence that they take things further in the bedroom.

Given how eager Henri had been on the night they’d met, it hadn’t taken them long to escalate from petting to handjobs and, shortly, blowjobs. Rahul really couldn’t see what was wrong with blowjobs. They were great -- his favourite, even. He loved receiving them, he loved giving them. Top notch stuff. But Henri seemed determined to take things into the unchartered waters of bumming territory. It wasn’t as though he were demanding it or making Rahul uncomfortable. It was mostly just disappointed sighs when Rahul was ready to call it a night after going down on each other, or innocent suggestions that they have a few condoms at hand. And it’s not as if Rahul weren’t curious, but he was perfectly content to keep doing what they were doing.

Like tonight, with Henri in his lap, half-naked and writhing. Rahul gave a contented sigh, thoroughly enjoying himself as he kissed Henri’s ear and squeezed his arse. It wasn’t as plump as Julian’s, but he did still like it quite a bit. Not that he was thinking about Julian, sitting back at the Barber, feeling lonely and forlorn. He wasn’t thinking about him at all. Not even a little.

Henri exhaled shakily, grinding down against the hard-on straining Rahul’s trousers. Rahul hissed through his teeth and pushed Henri back against the bed. He kissed a trail down his smooth belly, his destination unmistakable. Henri sunk his long fingers into Rahul’s hair and stopped him. Rahul looked up, confusion furrowing his brow.

“We could…” He smiled impishly, his cheeks dimpling. “I would like it if you --”

Rahul groaned and sat up, scrubbing his hands over his face. Henri sat up too, looking concerned.

“Is it… do you find it disgusting?” Henri ventured, putting a patient hand on Rahul’s shoulder.

“No, I --” Instead of finishing that sentence, he just shook his head.

“Would you rather be the -- comment dit-on? -- on the bottom? Because I do not mind. I enjoy all --”

“No,” Rahul stopped him, feeling rather mortified. He wasn’t used to speaking about sex so openly. Or at all, really. “That’s not the problem. I just…”

“You don’t want to.”

“I do! But I can’t -- Look, you’ll think it’s silly.”

Henri gave him a very frank look which suggested he’d never been silly a day in his life. “I will not. Dis-moi.”

“I just always thought -- or at least, when I imagined doing that --” Losing my virginity, he thought. “-- I’d always imagined it would be with…” It was harder to say than he’d thought. He had to look away from Henri in order to get the words out. “I’d always thought it’d be with Julian. And I know I don’t fancy him anymore,” he hastily added. “But when you’ve thought one thing for years, it’s difficult to shift that paradigm. Does that make sense?”

“Of course,” Henri stressed, giving Rahul’s shoulder a squeeze. Rahul sagged slightly with relief. It was a weight off to finally have it out in the open. He smiled at Henri and his green eyes sparkled back at him with intensity. “It is more important than ever now that you fuck me.”

Rahul made a noise of surprise not unlike the squawk of an indignant Cockatoo. “What?”

“You are putting him behind you, n’est-ce pas?”

“Getting over him, yeah.”

“What better way to do this than to give yourself to someone else completely?” He took both of Rahul’s shoulders in hand, shaking him slightly. His face was full of excitement and determination. “This will finally shut the door on that part of your life for good. You will be free.”

Rahul looked back at him with some apprehension, but his excitement was contagious. “I do want to be free, yes.”

“Bon.” Henri kissed him soundly. When he pulled back, his face was alight with mischief once more. “Je te libérerai.”

He’d returned to the shop to find Julian still in his sulk, carving his name into the wooden skirting board. Rahul was used to Julian flipping fluidly from sunny to stormy and back again at the drop of a hat, but it had been so long since he’d seen the sun come out in him that he was starting to fear his friend might never return to normal.

Julian had moved his stool back to its usual spot at Rahul’s side some time ago, yet there still felt like there was a gulf between them that stretched to Wales and back.

The offer he’d meant to propose last night sat heavy on his tongue. He fidgeted with the book in his hands, his sweaty palms dampening the pages. Images of Julian sitting alone and miserable in his flat on Christmas pushed his nerves aside and urged his mouth to open.

“Would you like to come to mine for Christmas?”

Julian looked up at him as if he’d just spoken in a foreign language. “What?”