Page 29 of A Love Like Candle Light

“Damn,” I mutter and put the photo back in the file. Dropping my head, I curse under my breath. “Fuck.”

“I’m sorry, Erik.”

I shake my head, lips pressed together. “It’s not your fault, Dad.”

“Well, we both know you’re wrong.” His lips stretch into a smile so bitter it breaks my heart.

There are many reasons I became a cop and am still searching for my sister and as contradictory as it might be, he’s the biggest one. Of course I want closure, but more than anything, I want aunt Molly and dad to have it.

Aunt Molly doesn’t show it, but losing Lilith has been gnawing at her. My dad blames himself, his stupid decision. I’m convinced he’s taking his extremely long prison sentence as a punishment for what happened to her. I’ve asked him countless times to let me get him a lawyer and try to get his sentenced reduced, but whenever I do, he only lowers his head and shakes it.

Like he gave up.

It’s the reason I keep pushing and searching. For him. For aunt Molly. Even though I know the statistics and am more than aware how miniscule my chance to find her alive is. Some days I wonder if it’s worth it to keep searching. But the glimmer of hope on dad’s face when I slide the picture his way—that’s the reason I don’t give up.

“Speaking of unpleasant things,” he says with a hoarse voice and clears his throat. “Your mother recently sent me a letter.”

My jaw drops. “What?”

“I couldn’t believe it myself.” He shakes his head with a humorless chuckle. “I haven’t heard from her since she had me sign the divorce papers.”

“What did she want?”

“Nothing important. She only wanted to rub her new, ‘so much better’ life in my face.” He lifts his hands for air quotes. “Disguised as an ‘I hope you’re well.’ I didn’t answer her, obviously. Just a warning, in case she sends you one, too.”

“Thank you.” Honestly, to me, that woman died the moment she got out of prison and decided to fuck off. As much as I’m giving my father the benefit of the doubt, she doesn’t deserve it.

When I was twelve, I found a copy of her file in aunt Molly’s attic. She knew what she was doing, every step of the way, never caring about repercussions and the effect her actions had on innocent people.

She never contacted me when she was in prison. And since dad is aunt Molly’s brother, she never felt obligated to make me visit mom in prison. She would have gone with me had I asked her to, I’m sure of it. I simply never felt the urge to.

“Who knows, maybe she won’t send you one.” He scoffs and taps his fingertips against the table. “Either way, I wanted you to be aware.”

“Thank you, Dad.”

I stay for a while longer. We talk about aunt Molly and the last book I sent to him. Terry Pratchett. A bookseller recommended the author to me and the first book I had delivered to him showed me it hit the mark. I’ve never seen his face light up so much when talking about a book.

I have my own copy at home. It’s not quite my cup of tea, but I’ll read it anyways.

Once the teenage-anger at him lessened, I started missing him a lot. Aunt Molly was the one to suggest reading books together and it’s one of the best ideas she ever had.

By the time one of the wardens signals that it’s time for me to leave, it’s already dark outside.

“Don’t beat yourself up over Lilith,” dad says as I get up to say goodbye.

“You too, alright, Dad?” His pained expression tells me it’s as useless to ask of him as telling an angry person to ‘calm down.’

“I’ll try.” He promises with a nod. I’ll forgive him for breaking this one.

“It’s all we can do.” I step into his hug and return it just as tightly.

“I hope you’ll find her, son,” he mumbles and pats my back. When he steps back, his eyes are glassy and he runs his palm over his face.

“Never losing hope,” I assure him and clear my throat. At this point, all I really hope for is that I can keep my promise.

Chapter 10

Kylie