Page 26 of He Hate Me

Ten

Deja

“Deja!” my mom yells and I jerk awake. I panic for a second before I realize I’m under the covers dressed in my pajama bottoms and a faded gray tee instead of the camisole I wore last night. The surest sign that last night wasn’t a dream, however, is the soreness in my nipples and ass.

“You’re still in bed?” I mother asks, coming into my room. “It’s after 9:00. Hurry up. We leave in twenty minutes.”

I’m tempted to tell her I’m sick, but after what happened last night with Gio and Mello, I feel like I need to show up to church just so no one thinks I’m hiding out of guilt.

Brandon is back to his usual self. You would have no idea by looking at him that anything had happened between us last night. He’s sitting in my pew, flirting with Mackenzie. He gives me this half-smirk when she’s not looking, and I feel a horrible sensation of insecurity in my gut. How should I interpret the way he’s teasing Mackenzie? He didn’t make any promises to me last night, but he was so passionate. My whole body feels hot when I think about it. I had acted like a slut, so it shouldn’t surprise me he’s moving on. Guys only like a challenge, after all.

After the service, Mackenzie and I go freshen up in the bathroom. She looks really pretty in a navy skirt and blue and white striped sweater. Her makeup is on point too, and she’s got on two-inch heels. I want to ask, “Why are you trying so hard?” but I know why.

“Are you and Brandon talking?” I ask her while we check our hair in the mirrors.

“Not yet,” she says, smiling. I give her a fake smile in return, but she knows me too well. “What? Why are you making that face?”

“No reason,” I say, innocently. I pull out my lip gloss to redo my lips even though they look fine and we’re about to have snacks anyway.

She grabs me by the shoulders and turns me to face her. “What. Is it?”

“It’s nothing,” I insist. “Just checking in.”

“Checking in?” she says. “Is there something you want to tell me.”

“No,” I say too quickly. “I mean, I don’t think so.”

“So what is it, then?” she presses. “You’re being weird?”

“This is none of my business,” I say, turning towards the door. She grabs my arm again, holding me in place.

“I thought I was your friend,” she says, hitting me where it hurts. This is so fucking messy. How did I get myself into this situation? If I’d just remembered to dis-invite Mello from the party, the last fifteen hours would have been a whole lot simpler. No injury, no spanking, no almost having sex with a guy I hate.

“I am your friend,” I say. “And as your friend I’m telling you to talk to Brandon.”

I leave the bathroom before she can stop me again and find my mom and Devin. I notice when Mackenzie makes a beeline for Brandon, but I turn my back on that because I don’t want her to wave me over or for Brandon to give me the stink eye.

It occurs to me I may have made a mistake. What if Brandon decides I did something wrong again? My ass barely survived the last spanking. I can’t handle another one any time soon.

The rest of the day I’m on tenterhooks. I’m sure Mackenzie told Brandon something. She texts me after church to thank me for giving her the heads up, so I guess the talk didn’t go that well for Brandon. Between my Sunday chores, I text Gio to see how he’s doing. His responses are all one or two words. He is clearly mad at me, probably because I yelled at him in front of all our friends. I can understand why he’s upset. Mello sends me a three-part text telling me the details of his injury and how he’s doing.

The entire afternoon is spent on chores, and I don’t really see Brandon since he’s raking and bagging leaves and I’m cleaning the bathrooms and dusting. We sit across from each other at dinner, chewing quietly through bland chicken breast and underdressed salad while my parents talk. He doesn’t so much as glance at me till the meal is nearly over, but when he speaks, I am shocked.

“Deja’s going to start tutoring me,” he says, looking only at Devin. “Kenzie can’t anymore, so she volunteered.”

“That’s really nice of you,” my mom says, smiling. She sounds both surprised and happy, probably because she thinks this means we’re getting along better.

“I…” I trail off. Brandon is giving me a hard look, as if daring me to contradict him.

“Why can’t Mackenzie tutor you anymore?” Devin asks, clocking the tension between us.

“She’s getting overwhelmed with all her commitments,” Brandon says. “And since Deja lives here, we figured it would be easier.”

What do I say? I am up to my neck in commitments too, but I can tell from Brandon’s expression that if I call him a liar, I’m going to regret it later.

“We don’t want Deja to be overwhelmed either,” Devin says, training narrowed eyes on Brandon. I’ll give the kid credit. He doesn’t even flinch.

“It’s not too much, is it Deja?” The smile is syrupy sweet. Devin’s eyes narrow even more, but I’m pretty cornered.