Page 110 of Shattered Hearts

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Laynie

The probe is cool to the touch as it makes contact with my abdomen. Holding Grayson’s hand tight enough to possibly cut off the circulation, I stare at the screen, waiting impatiently. It’s been two-and-a-bit weeks since my last appointment with Grayson, and to say that I’ve been anxious about this would be an understatement.

I’m not even sure I slept last night. This was all I could think about.

My bladder is full, my nerves are high enough for my skin to crawl, and it’s hot in here. Really hot.

Fanning my face with my hand, Fiona must see, because I get a small sympathetic smile before my eyes dart back to the screen. My baby is curled up in the fetal position, sucking on its thumb. A tiny chest moves, and little toes wriggle. I can’t help but give a tiny snort as tears rush to my eyes once more.

I think it’s picked up some of my nervous tendencies.

“There it is,” Fiona chimes happily.

Grayson sniffs beside me, his head leaning against mine as warm water drops down my cheeks and neck.

“Does it get more magical each time?” I hush out at him, our eyes not daring to budge from the screen.

His head nods against my temple. “I think so. I just want to hold it already.” I can hear how genuine those words are. He really does love this baby with all his heart.

“I want to as well.” My fingers scrunch as Fiona takes measurements. “Don’t you just want to hold him, Fiona?”

The smile on her face widens. “Of course I do. It’s the best part of my job when they’ve arrived and we take care of them in the nursery.”

“I can’t wait to hold him,” I whisper under my breath.

Grayson’s head tips a little towards mine, and he whispers, “You said him again.”

My toes scrunch. “I might have had a dream about him.” Heart pounding, his hand tightens in mine.

Fiona lets us listen to the heartbeat. I loosen like hot glue at the sound.

It’s so perfect.

As soon as she wipes the gel from my stomach and lets me relieve myself from the pain in my bladder, I sit back down on the examination chair, gripping Grayson tightly. If it’s too much, he doesn't say anything. Maybe he needs my squeeze as much as I need his?

Fiona comes back in with some test results and measurements, and she sits back down on her chair. The downturn of her eyes makes me sit up, the pit in my stomach widening. I knew there was a reason I was so anxious about this appointment.

“Everything from your results look fine, but there’s still a bit more growth to be made,” she starts.

My pulse leaps into my throat as Grayson shuffles in his chair beside me.

“As we spoke about last time, one thing that’s concerning is the size of the baby.” My lungs sting as I fight to keep myself in control as bile rises in the back of my throat. “It has grown, more than I expected, which is positive, but it’s still a bit behind the normal size range.”

My throat works as I squeeze Grayson tighter, needing to ground myself in him.

“So, it is dangerous?” he asks.

Fiona shakes her head. “No. Sometimes babies are naturally smaller, and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that. From the vital signs and tests, there’s nothing in particular I can pinpoint. Your baby is healthy.”

Your baby is healthy.

A wave of relief pours over me as my other hand rests on my stomach, cupping it gently. Grayson must see this, because he leans over, kissing my temple.

Fiona continues, “At this rate, since we can’t see anything specifically wrong, but know that your baby is a few centimetres behind the normal size. Therefore, I am going to add to Laynie’s file that an early birth will be required, just as a precaution for both you and the baby. We’ll continue to monitor everything over the next couple of months, but at this rate, I will be suggesting an early induction,” she states.

“How early?” I question in a quiet tone.