Page 112 of Shattered Hearts

“Sure, honey. Let’s sit on the couch.”

Sinking down beside her, Mum drapes the fluffy blanket over both our legs, and Freddie takes the opportunity to curl up beside me, purring like a drum.

“Is there something on your mind?”

Looking down at the steaming mug in my hand, I’m thankful that I have this time alone with her. Dad is at work, and Grayson drove to the ranch after dropping me off after the appointment, needing to work on something with his brothers.

There are so many things I want to say to her, but now that I have the opportunity, it’s like they’ve all left my brain.

I clear my throat. “You know I love you and Dad, right?”

There’s a smile on her lips, half formed and gentle. She reaches out, taking one of my hands. “Yes, we know. And we love you too.”

My toes scrunch under the blanket as I take a sip of my tangy, sweet loose leaf. “I’m really glad you found him, Mum. Like, I’m really, truly happy.”

She eyes me for a moment. “It feels like there’s a but coming along.”

“Have you ever felt like I was an outsider in the family?”

That makes her frown. “An outsider?”

I nod. “Yeah. You and Dad are like the wind. You move freely, doing whatever you like, and not really caring about time or money.”

“Well, they’re just not important to us,” She admits in a low voice.

“I know, but when I was younger, I realised that it wasn’t me. That I needed to be in control. To plan, structure, and tidy everything just so my mind wouldn’t overthink or hurt. But you two never really saw that.”

Her lips pinch. “We saw it, Laynie. We knew that you operated differently. That your anxiety led you. You weren’t a free spirit like us, but that was all right.”

My head shakes again as I stare back down at my drink. “Maybe so, but I never felt like I fit with you two. You’ve always been this arty, fun person who would rather smoke something illegal than pick me up from my baking classes in Hollow Grove.”

Her brows pinch. “We tried being good parents.”

“And you have been.” I rub my forehead. “I’m not saying this right. What I’m trying to say is that I sometimes wish you were more worried about me before I fell pregnant.”

“We worried,” Mum insists, her words sincere.

“Yeah but not like you do now. It made me feel like I was on my own.”

“You’re not on your own.”

“Well, definitely not now, but for a few years it felt like I was. You and Dad were so wrapped up in each other, and I was just another person living here. It made me feel alone,” I admit in a raspy tone.

She shakes her head. “You were never alone, Laynie. But I’m sorry we made you feel that way. It was never our intention. Your dad and I just like having fun. It’s our thing.”

“And I love that for you, but I also needed you both just like I have you now.”

“Come here.” I’m wrapped up in her arms, her chin pressed against my temple. “I never meant to make you feel that way. You mean everything to us. You’re our little girl, and I’m so grateful that Levi looks at you like you’re his own fresh and blood, because it really did make this easier.”

“I’m grateful to have him as my dad. He makes you really happy, Mum.”

“He does. Just like Grayson makes you so happy.” I blink, my nose stinging as I feel the familiar wave of emotion crashing through me. “And I can tell he’s going to adore your baby just like he adores you, and that’s all I want. I want you to be happy, and I want your baby to be loved.”

My hand slips from hers to cradle my stomach. “It will be. From what Grayson has already done, I know it will be well looked after.”

Her hand strokes my hair gently in the tender way she used to when I was younger and couldn’t fall asleep because I was convinced there were monsters under my bed. “I know you were scared to tell me at first about your pregnancy, but I’m glad that you did. I would have hated knowing that I was holidaying while you were here, stressing on your own like when you were waiting to hear about the bakery.”

“I felt so guilty, but I needed you here, Mum. I needed you because I knew you would know what to do.”