Page 82 of Shattered Hearts

Blinking, her mouth parts again, and I feel the rush of coldness sweep over me as she whispers, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” I grit out.

“I mean that I don’t know if it’s right.” I feel the figurative gut punch slam into me. “In a perfect world, I would want it to be us. You and me. But this isn’t a perfect world, Gray. It’s blemished. I blemished it when I slept with Scott.”

My jaw tightens at his name, my fingers squeezing. Laynie bites down on her lip.

“You didn’t blemish anything. It can still be you and me and your baby.”

That makes her flinch, and before I have time to backtrack, to figure out where I went wrong, she chokes out, “My baby.”

Crap.

“I mean—”

“It’s my baby, Gray, and I need to do what’s best for it.”

My throat is dry, and I try swallowing, but it does nothing to quench my thirst as I stare at her, hardly breathing. “What’s holding you back, Laynie?”

She sniffs, louder this time, and my heart sinks a little like it’s made of iron. “The fact that you still have the chance to have a normal life.” A tear slides down her cheek. “The chance to find someone, get married, then have a family. But me… I can’t do that. I’ll be coming with baggage.”

I reach out, my finger swiping to catch the rogue tear before it drops off her chin. Laynie doesn’t move. She just watches me as I wipe it away.

“But what if I want all of that?” I admit in a low, rough voice. “What if I don’t care about the baggage? Your dad didn’t.”

Hope springs to life in my chest, embedding itself deep in my bones like roots, but it dies instantly when she shakes her head, another tear releasing. “I can’t let you do that.”

“Why not?” the words snap from my mouth, my patience thinning.

She chokes on an inhale. “I can’t, Gray.” hiccup. “I need time to think about all of this. It’s very… abrupt.” Her shoulders shake, mouth trembling, hands vibrating, and I can sense it. The anxiety taking over her in the form of the monster she’s been fighting off for years.

Maybe this was too much for her to handle? Maybe the thought of her finding something happy or having the chance to rewrite the wrong she made terrifies her. But I’m going to remind her that she can defeat the monster. That I will be right beside her when she realises that this is what I want. It’s what we both want.

Releasing a shaky breath, I nod, pulling her into an embrace. She shakes beneath me, her head probably spinning. I swear I feel her heart beating against my own as she lets out a sob.

“Okay,” I whisper, my hand stroking her hair as she cries against my neck. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be right here when you’re ready.”

I feel her nod against my throat, fingers wrapping in my shirt as she clings to me.

Her lifeline. Her best friend.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Laynie

REID: We’re on our way back.

REID: We’ll be about ten minutes.

REID: He’s in a MAD mood.

My throat works as I stare at Reid’s messages. Is Grayson mad with me because of last night? Because I pushed him away when I should have pulled him closer?

I couldn’t think straight. My mind was clouded with anxiety. Not because I doubt Grayson wouldn’t be there for me, but because this whole situation is terrifying for me.

He kissed me, and I kissed him back. I’ve waited years for something like that to happen between us. Yet as soon as it did, reality washed over me and I realised how deep we’ve fallen into this mess. I’ve dragged him down with me, and I don’t want to mess up his life.

Macie’s voice steals my attention, pulling me from my spiralling thoughts. “All right, streamers are up. Cake is on the bench. Balloons are inflated.” She turns to me and grins. “I think we’re ready.”