Page 25 of This is Me

I wasn’t lying, which was the main thing. If I were in a relationship, with anyone, not just Blaire, I would tell Andy. I would tell all of my friends. The thing was, I wasn’t planning on getting into a relationship any time soon. Mainly because there was one massive obstacle I needed to get over before I did that. Two, if we included the Leroy obstacle. Which I very much did.

“Alright. I just want you to know that you can confide in me.”

At those words, I felt a slight stab in my heart, which I tried to ignore, but it was proving difficult. There was nothing more I wanted to do than to confide in my friends and tell them everything. But something was holding me back. There was something always holding me back, and I wasn’t sure how to get around that. I wasn’t sure how to break free.

I did my best to recompose myself, and I smiled at Andy, doing what I could to show him that nothing was going on with me.

“I know. Trust me. You’d be the first to know.” I added a small wink for good measure, and it seemed to pay off as he gave me a slap on the back and a big smile before walking to the other side of the car and getting in.

“We should really get to your party, Pete,” Leroy said, moving to the passenger side door.

“It’s about fucking time.”

Taking in a deep breath of the cold night air, I slipped inside my car and brought it to life, pulling away from the curb. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leroy shooting me a few glances, and I tried to ignore him. Every time I felt his eyes on me, however, it felt as though my stomach was dropping through the bottom of my car.

“Are we almost there?” Andy asked, which somehow managed to pull my stomach back to where it was supposed to be.

“We literally just started driving,” Blaire muttered, and looking in the rear-view mirror, I saw her looking at Andy, shaking her head.

“Ugh, I’m just pumped to get started! I finally get to legally drink with Pete!”

“It’s not going to be any different to the other times.” Leroy laughed, throwing his head back.

“I’ll know the difference, and that’s all that matters.”

“You’re a weird kid,” Blaire said with a small sigh.

“Gotta maintain my image.” Andy snickered. “You should see me at home—”

“If you bring up something about masturbation, I’m going to jump out of this car,” Blaire warned, and Andy went quiet for a moment.

“I’ll wait until we both have a few drinks in us.”

“I’m going to need a lot more than a few.”

“Huh, they really did start without me,” I muttered, interrupting the riveting conversation in the back seat as we pulled up to my house.

People were walking all over the front lawn and stumbling into the house. Groups had already formed, and it seemed drinks were already flowing.

“Is your family not concerned about stolen things?” Leroy asked, looking at me as I killed my car’s engine.

“I’m one hundred percent sure they’ve hired someone to watch over the party,” I answered, feeling my heartbeat begin to speed up.

Usually, I wasn’t too freaked out about parties, but there was something different about one that was being held at my own house. Truth be told, the main thing that was freaking me out was how many people were now in the house where a video of me confessing who I was resided.

I had no idea why I was freaking out. My computer had a password, and it was protected. No one could get into it.

“Are we going in, or are we just going to sit in the car for the whole night?” Blaire asked, answering her own question and opening the car door.

As soon as she did, my car was filled with the low thumping of the music that was coming from my house, and a small smile graced my face. The soothing beat of the music seemed to calm me down

“Let’s do this!” Andy yelled, following Blaire’s movements and getting out of the car.

Leroy gave me one more glance before we both got out of the car, following Andy and Blaire up to my house.

Greeting a few people on our way up to the house, I made sure to catch up to Blaire and stick close to her. I may have been used to parties and been to a few, but this one was different. Somehow, though, Blaire was always able to help keep me calm. Staying close to her was the smartest thing I could do.

“You good?” I heard Blaire whisper into my ear, and I smiled to myself, before turning my head in her direction.