Page 38 of This is Me

“How is this pointless? And who cares? let it burn.” Blaire shrugged and shot me a wink.

“It’s pointless because, one, there wasn’t a look. Two, I’m so far in the closet I’ve almost discovered Narnia. And Three… I forgot what I was going to say.”

“Okay, I get it. No pressure. Also, I’m sorry about the gay comment before.” Blaire stood up and held her hand out to me.

“It’s fine.” I took Blaire’s hand, and she pulled me to my feet. “You need to stop worrying about that crap.”

“I know, I know. I’ll do my best.”

We both wandered up to the counter, and Blaire paid for everyone’s coffee, all while stealing glances at me, while I tried to ignore her. The whole transaction was awkward, and I was glad when it was over, and Blaire and I made our way toward the exit.

“He does have a nice ass.” The words slipped out of my mouth just as we reached the door, and I felt Blaire’s hand slap against my chest.

“There it is!” she let out a laugh, and I could feel my face, once again, heating up.

“Shut up, and get in the car,” I mumbled, slipping into the driver’s seat.

“So…” Andy said as I started the car. He was sitting in the front passenger seat, and he looked at both Blaire and me as we entered the car.

“It’s your turn to pay for coffee next time, Andy,” I interjected before he could say anything else.

“Mhm, yep. No problem,” Andy mumbled, still looking from me to Blaire.

As I pulled out of the car park, I noticed Leroy was looking away from everybody and was unusually quiet. I turned to Andy to see if he could tell me why Leroy seemed closed off, but he just shook his head at me, as if telling me not to ask.

The rest of the car trip to Blaire’s house and then Andy’s house was short, as it always was, and after a round of goodnights, I was soon parked in my driveway, looking up at my house. Some of the lights were still on, and I knew once I was inside, I would have to face a barrage of questions about the game.

Sighing silently to myself, I killed my car’s engine and slipped out into the fresh night air, before making my way into the house, stopping in the hallway when I could hear the faint sound of our television. For a moment, I contemplated heading straight up to my bedroom and skipping a family conversation, but decided to head toward the living room, for no other reason than to let my family know I was home safe.

As I walked into the living room, however, I found that the only person in it, was Bradly, who was half hanging off the lounge, staring blankly at the television, which was playing a show in a different language.

“Huh, I didn’t know you could speak Russian,” I announced my presence, walking further into the room.

At my words, Bradly tilted his head slightly and watched as I walked around the lounge, keeping my eyes trained on him. He gave me a sarcastic smile before he spoke.

“It’s German, you uncultured swine. And I don’t speak it. Their accents soothe me.”

“The German accent soothes you?” I asked, sitting down on the end of the lounge, as Bradly hadn’t made any attempt to make room for me.

“What of it?” Bradly asked, turning his attention away from me again.

“Nothing,” I said quickly, before looking around the room again, checking that we were, in fact, alone. “Where’s mum and dad?”

“They went to bed a little bit ago. Apparently, they’re doing something tomorrow or something.”

“It’s a good thing you listen,” I joked, though all I got was a grunt in response. “Geez, sorry. Didn’t realise I walked in on a funeral. I’ll leave you to you.” As I went to get up, Bradly’s voice made me stay.

“I haven’t been sleeping.”

I turned back to look at him and saw that he was already looking at me, and he had changed his position on the lounge. He was no longer draped over the side, half hanging off it, but was sitting up straight.

“Have you tried not watching TV?” I asked, gesturing to the German show he had been watching.

“It’s not just tonight. I’m just finding it hard to sleep. Even when I do, it’s only for a few hours. If that.”

“I don’t see what you want me to do about that, Brad. I mean… do you need someone to cuddle?” I suggested, before quickly adding, “not me. But I’m sure you could hire someone. Like a hooker, but instead of sex, it’s just spooning.”

“Alright, I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to talk to you about this.” Bradly turned his attention back to the television, and I sat and watched him for a moment.