Page 62 of This is Me

“No. I want to!”

“Okay. Now, I’m just going to double-check to make sure you don’t want to tell your parents first?” Blaire asked, and as I clicked on the video to upload it, I leant back in my chair and sighed.

“I can’t. It’ll be fine. I’ll… face them after. No, I should tell them first. No. I shouldn’t. Should I? I can’t!” I rambled, my mind now starting to race as I watched the upload bar gradually fill up.

“Stop panicking, and calm down,” Blaire said, placing her hand on my shoulder. “Just let the video do the talking.”

“Telling me to calm down does nothing.”

“Okay, just listen—”

“Oh, God, it’s finished,” I cut Blaire off as a notification popped up on my computer’s screen telling me that the video had been uploaded.

“Hit post!” Blaire said quickly, and I looked at her excited face.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“What… what if I don’t have a home after this?” I asked, my voice shaking as I did.

It was not something I wanted to think about, but the thought was now circling my mind. I had heard about parents kicking their children out of the house for being gay. I didn’t want to believe my parents would do that, but how the fuck was I supposed to know?

“You will always have a home,” Blaire said quietly. “Even if it’s not here—which I know it will be—you are always welcome to stay with me. My parents love you.”

“What if they—”

“They won’t see you any different.”

“Can I stay for a few nights? I just… need that time before I…” My voice trailed off as I tried to find the words to say.

I could feel tears starting to build up behind my eyes as I thought about the possibility of losing my parents because of who I was. I couldn’t bear it.

“You can take as long as you need,” Blaire said, tightening her grip on my shoulder.

“Thank you. For everything,” I whispered, before turning back to my computer. “New beginnings.”

Hitting post on the video, I quickly closed the browser and shut the computer off. Quickly wiping my eyes, I got up from my chair and grabbed an empty bag from under my bed.

“What are you doing?” Blaire asked, and I stared at her as I dragged clothes out of my dresser.

“Grabbing clothes?”

“You need that many clothes for a few days?” Blaire laughed, and I rolled my eyes, shoving clothes into my bag.

“This is just a precaution. In case things go horribly wrong.” My voice was still shaking, even though I was doing my best to steady it.

“Alright, well, the good news is, you can have some peace and quiet once we get to my place. At least for a night,” Blaire said, continuing to watch me pack. “Mum and Dad are up the coast anyway for the twin’s swim meet, and they took Lachlan with them. And Jordan is… somewhere. No idea where he is.”

“Perfect.”

Walking across my room, I opened my door and slipped quietly into the hallway with Blaire following me. Soon, we found ourselves downstairs. Thankfully, my parents had gone out. Sadly, my brother hadn’t.

“Oh, Slither Dick and my favourite of the brain trust,” Brad’s voice greeted us before we reached the front door, and I turned to see him standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m the favourite?” Blaire asked, smugness lacing her voice.

“The bar isn’t set very high,” Brad replied with a shrug, and I glanced at Blaire to see her pout. “I saw you posted the video.”