Page 137 of For I Have Sinned

The soft side of him makes an appearance for a moment. “But if you really need me to stop, just tell me, okay?”

“I can handle it,” I say with determination, even though I’m not sure if I’ll be able to.

Sex has always been a one-and-done with every guy I’ve been with. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up with his stamina, but when his dark side returns, and that seductive grin flashes on his face, suddenly I’m ready to go another ten rounds.

“Then get ready, little sin. It’s going to be a long night.”

Chapter 44

Celine

I’m afraid that if I get out of bed, I won’t be able to stand up, not after last night.

Alex kept true to his word and somehow had the energy to go all night. He also managed to use every inch of the room: my bed, the dresser, the floor, the walls, the window. Every single space was used more than once.

By the end of it, we sprawled out on my tiny bed, out of breath, dripping sweat, and exhausted. As much as I would have liked him to stay the night, we decided that it was probably not a good idea. After an hour of lying there intertwined with each other, he got up and went back to his room.

And even though I was spent, I forced myself out of bed to take a shower. I guess I was still on an adrenaline rush, since I managed to get through my entire shower routine. But when I got back into bed, I passed out immediately.

Now, I lie awake, staring at the way the curtain surrounding my bed ripples in the wind. While most people wouldn’t dare have their windows open when the air was this cool in the mornings, I needed the fresh air, and since Alex was able to get it fixed, I’m taking advantage of it.

The wind is minimal, blowing quietly into the room and making the curtain appear as if a ghost were the one moving it. As I continue to observe the cream fabric, my mind wanders to what day it is.

My birthday.

Growing up, I thought it was so cool that I was born on Halloween at home. Although we didn’t celebrate the scary holiday, as my parents called it, I learned a lot from the other kids at school.

They would tell me what they were going to dress up as, and then after trick-or-treating, they would talk with so much joy about all the candy they got. There were a few kids in my class who would even go out of their way to bring me candy so I wouldn’t feel left out, especially since it was my birthday.

Never once did we celebrate Halloween. However, I guess I should be grateful that we celebrated my birthday. Even if it was at some fancy dinner my parents planned. I was just happy that they remembered it.

Now, I’m stuck celebrating my birthday in the convent. I close my eyes and imagine myself getting ready for dinner and drinks with Amelia and Vince. We’d probably be getting ready at my house, and Vince would have been the one to plan where we were going to get dinner. Somehow, he always knew of the best spots.

I’m so deep in my daydream that when I finally do open my eyes, my lip curls in disgust that I’m still in this damn convent. The threats that Father Keaton made to both Alex and me run rapidly in my mind, and the fear that I might not be getting out of here settles deep in my body.

Even if Alex manages to get out of this place on his own, he might not be able to take me with him. Not with how far gone Father Keaton is. Speaking of, anxiety stirs in my stomach at the thought of what he has planned for today; still uncertain of what he meant when he said it is going to be a birthday I’ll never forget.

Maybe if I hide out in my room, I can skip whatever it is.

Who am I kidding? Father Keaton would most likely drag me out of my room by my hair and bring me down to this event himself.

I don’t want to get out of bed, but I know I have to. It is just a matter of peeling myself from the uncomfortable mattress. A second later, someone’s knuckles hit the wooden door, and I take that as motivation to get out of bed finally.

Slowly, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and stand on wobbly legs, stretching the muscles in my body with a groan. When I wrap my hand around the knob and open the door, I find Esther standing there with a muffin.

“Happy birthday!” she beams, her smile going from ear to ear.

At the same time, one hand holds the muffin, the other one dips into her dress, where she pulls out a lighter. Her thumb settles on the spark wheel, pressing it down and igniting the flame.

Her eyes meet mine, and she shrugs. “They didn’t have a birthday candle. Would you like me to sing to you?”

“No, that’s okay.” A giggle leaves me as I take a step forward to blow out the dancing flame. “Thank you for this.”

“I knew you were feeling a bit down about your birthday.” She extends her hand out, the muffin now in front of me. “And I won’t take offense if you don’t eat it. Sometimes they are so dry.”

“It’s the thought that counts.” Plucking the muffin from her hand, I spin on my heel to set it on the dresser. “Seriously, thank you.”

Esther’s hand waves through the air to dismiss my words. “Don’t get all sentimental on me.”