Page 154 of For I Have Sinned

As I stagger back to the waiting room, using the wall to help me walk the corridor, I hear a voice in the distance.

“Celine?”

I pause mid movement, unsure if I heard the voice or if it’s all in my head. I’d recognize that it anywhere. But it can’t be… it has to be all in my head. There has been so much going on, and it is probably the grief playing tricks with my mind.

“Hello, Earth to Celine?” I hear the voice again, louder this time, and it sounds too real.

My body straightens as I hear footsteps coming closer. There is a light tap on my shoulder, and with my hand planted against the wall to keep me upright, I slowly turn around, tears welling in my eyes.

Once I see her, she puts her hands in the air and says, “Boo!” followed by a laugh.

She wraps her arms around me, and my body stays still. Unable to move, not because she is hugging me, but because I’m in shock for what feels like the hundredth time tonight.

When I don’t laugh or lift my arms to return the hug, she backs away and watches my face. My mouth opens, brows furrowing as I stare at her.

“Too soon?” she asks, regretfully, as she scrunches her nose.

“Est– Esther?” I stutter, looking her up and down to gauge if she is real or a ghost coming back to haunt me.

She takes that as a cue to spin around in her hospital gown. “The one and only!”

“But… How.. You died… I watched you–” My voice quivers. “I saw them take you away. You di–” I trail off.

“Oh, right. No, I didn’t die. Clearly.” She lets out a sarcastic giggle, gesturing to herself, and smiles proudly. “I faked it.”

“You faked it?” I’m not quite sure what I’m feeling or how to describe it, but if I had to, it’s a mix of wanting to jump up and down in excitement, pull her back into a hug and never let her go, or yell at her for making me believe that she was dead.

She snorts, nodding nonchalantly. “Yeah, there’s absolutely no way I’d let that bastard be the reason I die. Not a chance.”

“How?”

“Well, that was what I was going to tell you before that man dragged me away. The reason I suggested we split up was so you and Alex could find an exit while I served as the distraction, because I realized I had a better chance of surviving Father Keaton.”

I stare at her in utter confusion because my brain cannot comprehend what the hell is going on right now.

“No offense,” she adds, then continues explaining. “I just meant that I can hold my breath underwater for a very long time. Back when I was stuck at home, I would go swimming in our pool and see how long I could hold my breath. I’d time myself and always try to break my record and the amount of time Father Keaton held me under was nowhere near my top record.”

She starts to let out another laugh, but sees the terror on my face as I remember seeing him drowning her, and she clears her throat.

“Anyway, I figured the only way I could get out of that pool was to pretend I drowned. I knew he wouldn’t stop until I was dead. Pretty good actor, huh?” With how speechless I am in this moment, she gives me an innocent yet guilty smile.

“Uhm, okay…” I shake my head, trying to digest everything she just said. “So then what happened after they took you into that room? Were you able to find a way out?”

“When they carried me out of the pool, I knew I had to keep my body limp and remain silent until they left the room so I could make a run for it. Those men just tossed me in there like I was a piece of trash they were throwing away. It ended up being a lot harder than I thought it would be to stay silent because as soon as I was out of their arms and landing on the floor, I knew it wasn’t the floor. I had landed on top of another body. I wanted to throw up and get the hell out of there.” She cringes at the memory. “I was surrounded by all of the bodies of the women he drowned. One girl’s hair was still wet, and it stuck to my cheek. I don’t know how I was able to keep quiet.

“That’s…”

“Disgusting? Horrifying? Traumatizing?”

“Yeah,” I agree with all three.

Esther shakes her arms out as if she is getting rid of that feeling. I’m stunned by how composed she is after everything that happened to her. Turns out Alex and I weren’t the only ones who left that room with emotional scars.

“Fortunately, when the men did leave, it was pitch black in there, so I couldn’t see the bodies I landed on. I could only feel them. But there was an exit sign glowing bright enough for me to find the door easily. Although I’d say it was a tad bit unfortunate that Sister Alice was guarding the door with a knife. When she heard me approach, she lunged at me, and the knife slashed my arm.”

She lifts her arm, showing me the bandage that is wrapped around it.

“If it weren’t for the adrenaline, I don’t think I would have been able to fight her off. Thankfully, the glow from the exit sign reflected off the knife so I could see where it was. I knocked it out of her hand and scratched the shit out of her face.”