Page 48 of For I Have Sinned

“You are a walking sin,” I whisper, hoping she didn’t hear me, but by the shocked look on her face, I know she did.

Celine doesn’t say anything as she glances down at my lips. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully.

One kiss.

God will forgive me.

I lean forward, already preparing my apology to God for when I get back to my room, and just as I am about to get my taste, I hear shuffling from the hall. Pulling back, I listen closely and realize that whoever it is, they are coming this way.

Celine must have heard the footsteps, too, because she shoots to her feet just before I do. She creates distance from me, going to the other side of the table and picking up the plate. Not a moment later, Sister Greta walks through the door.

“Father Alexander,” she greets me without enthusiasm. When she passes me, she stops when Celine comes into view. “You’re still here?”

“It took me forever to finish cleaning your office and you said you were done in here for the rest of the night,” she tells Sister Greta in a calm tone.

“I forgot something on my desk.” Sister Greta states.

Celine rolls her shoulders.“Well your office is spotless. You’re welcome.”

With the plate in her hand, she brushes past Sister Greta and me, leaving the library.

“She’s trouble. Just like that, Esther.”

“That’s kind of why I brought her to help you,” I say while trying to calm my heart rate and clasp my hands in front of me. “I figured that you could help her.”

“With what?”

“Celine needs someone who isn’t going to sugarcoat anything. She needs someone who will tell her how it is, even when she doesn’t want to hear it. She needs someone who is going to be tough on her.”

“Ah. So bring her to the mean, old woman.” She makes her way to her office. “I’ll try my best. That is, if I don’t scare her off first.”

“Trust me, you won’t.”

As I say my final words, Sister Greta disappears into the small hall. I take that as my cue to leave and head back to my room.

When I arrive in the corridor where the chapel is, I stop and look back at the staircase that leads to the women’s rooms. It’s late, and I should go back to my room so I can get some rest, but I find myself turning and climbing the stairs.

It’s quiet. Everyone is already asleep in bed, which means I need to keep my footsteps soft. I stand outside her bedroom door, staring at the dark wood that is splintering.

I’m not sure what I plan on doing. No matter how bad I want to, I can’t go in there. My brain doesn’t get that memo because it lifts to the door handle. I lightly brush my fingers over the brass, fighting a war in my mind.

Just when I start talking some sense into myself and remove my hand to turn to walk away, I hear a soft sound come from her room. I freeze, glancing over my shoulder at her door, and then I hear another one.

Chest heaving, I position myself in front of her door and listen. She is moaning more than the first time, and her voice is a little louder, too. I roll my jaw and glance down at my cock. It’s begging for release yet again.

Looking left and right to make sure the coast is clear, I do the unthinkable.

Slowly, I unbutton my pants and tug the zipper down. Nerves flush through my body because if I get caught for what I am about to do, they might shun me. But I can’t stop myself. Not as I shove my hand in my pants, and not as I wrap my hand around my cock. I shudder at the sensation of just holding it and almost collapse as I begin to make lazy strokes.

I’m making sure to listen in case anyone sneaks up on me, but I’m mainly focusing on the noises she makes. Through the barrier, she sounds so sweet. It only makes me wonder how it would sound to be right next to her. I quicken my pace right when I hear her say my name breathlessly.

Again.

Fuck.

She is going to be my undoing.