Page 29 of Fearlessly Us

Maddy

Is hell frozen? Have aliens invaded planet Earth to do weird sexperiments on all of us? Did those crotchety old white men in Congress finally give us health care and paid parental leave? Since when is any time of the day too late for you to go back to the office?

Me

Emmy’s procrastination bothers me less at a distance. If I don’t see it, I can pretend it doesn’t exist.

Sophie

That is remarkably self-aware of you.

Emmy

My inability not to procrastinate thanks you. If you need me, I’ll be here living my best last-minute life, existing on caffeine, red Skittles, good vibes, and feminist rage. About the health care thing and also about *waves hands everywhere*.

Sarah

Okay, this is fun and everything, but can we focus on me now?

Maya

Anytime, honey girl. Tell us everything.

Sarah

I kind of did a thing.

Maddy

Details, Sarah. We need details.

Sarah

I joined a dating app. I’m on a date. Right now.

Maya

Oh Sarah, no.

Sarah

Unfortunately for me, yes.

I thought since a dating app worked for Sophie it would work for me too, so I agreed to my first date in forever that I definitely don’t have time for because he was cute and he gave good text.

Sophie

And?

Sarah

I’m currently hiding in a coffee shop bathroom because he spent half an hour explaining the medical profession to me, ten minutes asking if I ovulate on a regular basis because it’ll be easier for us to get pregnant if I do, and another ten minutes asking me if I would be amenable to IVF for gender selection purposes because he really has his heart set on boys.

Emmy

Ugh. My rage is extra ragey right now.

Maya