Page 73 of An Irish Hope

“Thank you.”

He threw a cushion at her, and she stopped. But still eyed him softly. “Maybe instead of beating yourself up about the past you should finally accept God’s forgiveness for all you’ve done.”

“What do you mean?”

“God has come to set you free, Andy. Not just free from shame and guilt, but free to walk tall into the future God has for you. And if God has brought you into the path of someone who is smart and kind and fun and as gorgeous as you described, then don’t you think there’s a chance she might be yet another one of God’s mercies for you?”

Beth’s words stuck him hard in the heart. Yes, there was a chance. And judging from the way Aisling kept popping unexpectedly into his life, it even seemed like a good chance.

A God-given chance? Maybe. Was he willing to risk it? Or was risk just another way of saying almost trusting God?

He didn’t want to be the man who almost trusted. He wanted to be the one who really did trust God.

“Go away.”

“So rude.”

“I need to pray.”

“Okay then. Love you.”

“Love you too,” he muttered, as she finally left and he could finally breathe in the silence of the room. Just him and God.

“Hey God, I’m sorry if that vow thing was a dumb idea. I guess it shows I haven’t really been trusting You like I thought.”

Because now he realised trusting God meant actually trusting. Which meant doing something other than letting fear stop him. Which meant stepping out into the unknown, knowing he’d fall short but God never would. And knowing that because God was almighty, He’d always be there to pick Andy up.

And because it felt like a day when comparisons to Bible men of old was in the air, he prayed some more. “Lord, I don’t want to be like Gideon with the fleece, but if You have brought Aisling into my life for my future, then please give me another sign that this can be resolved between us. It seems impossible, like something only You can fix. But I’m willing to trust You with it all.”

And he closed his eyes and opened his hands and finally felt peace.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Sweat lined her palms, her nerves about school trampling over the peace she’d found this morning. She drew in a deep breath. Exhaled.

“Are you okay?” Maisie asked.

“Yes. Just thinking about the day ahead.”

But not, as Maisie was, about her first full class of teaching. Instead, she kept wondering about what it would be like when she saw Andy. And she had the strongest sense that she would. And when she did she would need to apologise. She’d been rude last Friday night.

But just as she was willing to trust God that He’d make a way for her to see Andy, so she was trusting Andy would have enough of God’s mercy for him to hear her.

She should’ve just been honest. But there was a world of difference between knowing that and actually doing that.

She didn’t see him in the staffroom. She didn’t see him in the playground. She didn’t see him in his usual classroom. And because she was trying to do a job herself she decided to leave it until later, maybe even lunch, when his timetable (yes, she’d looked that up) suggested he would be free.

So she met with Moira and led the first lesson on Irish kings, and Moira’s later compliment made her feel much better about things than this time last week. Then she had the next class, then a double.

By the time lunch came she was starving. And exhausted. But while a nap and a cup of tea and sandwich might call, something else called harder.

She grabbed her water bottle and an apple and made her way down to the PE staffroom. A couple of students were being spoken to by another staff member, who gestured that she should go in. So she knocked on the door, then entered.

The staffroom was crowded like theirs was, except with random pieces of exercise equipment and less books. She nodded to one of the female staff members, waiting as Andy finished on the phone.

Miles glanced at her. Darn. She’d forgotten he was here. “Aisling, long time no see. What can we do for you?”

She really should have thought this through better. She didn’t want to be giving anyone the wrong idea, which was exactly what her just showing up like this would do. “Um, I just thought I’d see how you’re going.”