Page 10 of Under an Oklahoma Sky

Well, he definitely wasn’t asleep. Dressed in black sweatpants and nothing more, Adam knelt in profile on the floor with his hands resting on his muscular thighs and his head tilted down. She guessed he was meditating since his eyes were closed.

Staying in the shadows, she studied his features—dark-blond hair in need of a slight trim, a chiseled jaw covered in coarse stubble, corded neck muscles, broad shoulders and chest, followed by a narrow waist and rock-hard abs. A deep V of muscles, dusted with fine hair down the middle, disappeared into his sweatpants.

Damn, is it getting hot out here?

She might be a widow still mourning the only man she’d ever loved, but she would have to be six feet under alongside Mark not to appreciate the perfect male form in front of her.

A flutter awakened somewhere deep inside her, followed by an awareness she hadn’t experienced since Mark’s death. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked at a man and felt genuine attraction.

Damn.

Why did it have to be this man who stirred feelings she’d buried for the past thirty months? She’d felt the first spark earlier when he’d gotten Jenna talking at dinner. His eyes had danced with amusement, his deep, rumbling laughter had filled the air, and, jeez, those dimples were just too adorable.

Stop it. Stop thinking of him as a man. He’s your employee and nothing more.

He probably wouldn’t be there long, and one-night stands weren’t her thing. And no way would she have a meaningless fling one hundred and fifty feet from where her children slept soundly.

She was lonely, though. It wasn’t a new feeling or one she’d been denying to herself, but it also wasn’t something she’d acted on. She missed being held, caressed, and loved. Maybe Ashley was right—her friend had spent the past six months trying to convince Sage it was okay to start dating again. Maybe it was time to rejoin the living in every way.

Adam’s chin dipped, and it wasn’t until he made the sign of the cross that she realized he’d been praying. He’d mentioned he wanted to attend church—she was a member of Reverend Stevens’ congregation as well—but she wasn’t used to seeing anyone pray like that outside of Sunday service or the dinner table.

Suddenly embarrassed she’d been ogling him, she stepped further into the shadows as Adam stood and stretched. With one last admiring glance at the man, she spun on her heel and hurried back to the house, completely forgetting what she’d been doing outside the cottage in the first place.

Closing and locking the kitchen door behind her, she leaned against it with a sigh and absently fingered the gold wedding ring that still adorned her left hand. She had to be out of her mind. Adam was an employee… an ex-con employee… a drifting ex-con employee she'd met that morning. There. Now that she had that straight in her mind, she could forget about his amazing physique and the unexpected feelings he’d stirred in her.

Damn.

After making the sign of the cross at the end of his meditation and prayers, Adam pushed himself to his feet and winced as his knees cracked. Recently, he’d noticed his body showing signs of aging. Forty was rapidly approaching, and every one of those years seemed to make themselves known of late—the cracking of his joints, a dull ache in his lower back, some gray hairs at his temples, and a few wrinkles on his face which hadn’t been there before.

Movement outside of the cabin’s front window caught his eye, and he watched Sage climb the steps to the back porch, enter her home, and turn off the exterior light. A few seconds passed, and then the kitchen went dark as well.

He stepped to the window and stared into the darkness, lit only by the sliver of moon overhead. He crossed his arms over his bare chest and leaned against the frame. The day had been hot, but the temperature dropped quickly after sunset. Rather than turn on either of the cottage’s two air conditioners, he’d opened the windows earlier and let the fresh air circulate through the rooms. Before starting his meditation, though, the growing chill had prompted him to close them again.

What am I doing here, Lord? Is this just another temporary stop on my journey, or did you lead me here for a reason?

Something had made him take a left at a fork in the road instead of a right. Something had told him to head south instead of in any other direction. Something had made all those cars and trucks pass by the lone hitchhiker instead of stopping for him. Something had told a retired couple it was safe to offer him a ride while they were traveling through Oklahoma on their way to Texas to meet their new grandson. And something had made him thank them several hours later and sling his duffel bag over his shoulder when they stopped for gas.

That stop had left him on County Road 81, five miles east of Rosewood. A trucker had picked him up about halfway to town and dropped him off in front of Reverend Stevens’s church, where something had made the good reverend think Adam might be the answer to a widow’s need for help.

He wasn’t sure what all those somethings were, but he already felt an inexplicable sense of belonging at Heaven’s Pastures. So many twists of fate had brought him to this point. If he—or anyone else along the way—had made just one different choice, he wouldn’t be standing there contemplating his pretty new boss and her two adorable children.

Am I here to help Sage save her ranch? Or is there more to it?

He couldn’t deny the attraction he’d felt toward Sage from the moment she’d confronted him outside her home. She was a strong woman—standing up to Sherman and his “guard dog” had proven that immediately—but she had a softer side too, one that still mourned the loss of her husband. And Adam was a man who hadn’t even held a woman’s hand since he’d been a teenager, unless it was to offer comfort in a time of need.

Yet thoughts of Sage kept wandering into territory they had no business going. Although he had left the Brotherhood, his devotion to his God and the principles that shaped his adult life remained steadfast. He’d faced temptation many times since taking his vows, and denying his attraction to women had often been one of the tougher challenges. After all, he was human.

Since his release from prison, he’d been adjusting to more than simply being a free man again. For the first time in twenty years, he was free to decide for himself what he wanted his life to be. Several women had flirted with him during his travels over the past few months, and although he felt flattered, he had never been tempted to pursue anything with them. Casual intimacy had never felt right to him. Even without his vows, a part of him still believed two people should share that part of themselves only when love was involved.

Some of the older brothers, along with leaders of other faiths, would insist that marriage should come first. Adam wasn’t so certain anymore. His faith hadn’t changed, but his understanding of it had. The world had changed since many religious laws were written, and he believed people's treatment of one another mattered most. Do no harm. Help when you can. Love when you are fortunate enough to find it.

But he had harmed another, and that act still darkened his soul despite the extenuating circumstances. A man had died at his hand, and while he hoped God would forgive him come his Judgment Day, he wasn’t sure he could ever forgive himself.

Pushing off from the window frame, he strode across the cabin to his bedroom. It was a step above sparse, with a few basic, impersonal touches. But a lack of worldly possessions was something he’d gotten used to in both the seminary and rectories he’d lived in for well over a decade and the six-by-eight-foot cell that had been his home for over five years.

Flopping down on the full-sized bed, he picked up the worn paperback copy of a John Grisham novel he’d bought for twenty-five cents at a yard sale in Iowa a few days earlier. He’d spotted it while walking toward the interstate in search of his next ride.

He read only a few pages before his eyes grew heavy. Giving up on the book, he switched off the bedside lamp and rolled onto his side. As he drifted off, one final thought crossed his mind.