Page 25 of Once Upon A Christmas Song

I laughed at him.

“But yeah, you’re right. My little girl is an angel, and so is her mother.”

“So what’s it like now being back out in the world, because there’s still a helluva lot of temptations for you. Is it hard to deal with?”

He shook his head. “I’ll always be an alcoholic, and I miss cigarettes, but the drugs I don’t pine for like all the rest. And when I added up all the money that went into my veins and up my nose… Jesus, that’s college money I don’t have anymore.”

“You have time.”

“No. Not according to Angie. In another three years Layla will have to be enrolled in a very fancy, very expensive preschool, so no. It’s on, starting now, saving money for my kid’s education.”

“So you’re saying, from a purely financial standpoint, no drugs for you?” I teased him.

“I wouldn’t do ’em now even if I could. I have too much to lose.”

“That’s good. So no vices anymore?”

He chuckled. “Only coffee, and I will say I’m a bit of a snob about it. My cafecito is better than they make anywhere in the Quarter.”

“I believe you.”

“Well, you need to come to my house and have some. Angie says she’s invited you a million times, and you sent a gift for the baby shower but didn’t show up.”

“It’s not so easy, Ben. You got your life back, and I’m happy for you. But I would have to be crazy to step back into the whirlwind with Dawson West.

“And I get that. I do,” he affirmed, patting my knee. “But what you’ll realize, when you’re around him a bit, is that he’s nothing like he used to be.”

I shot him a look.

“No, I know. But he gave up the drugs and alcohol too, and he was never addicted to nicotine, so unlike me, he doesn’t look like a crazy person leaning into smoke when he’s walking down the street and people are exhaling.”

“I can see you doing that.”

“It’s embarrassing, but what I mean when I say he’s changed, it’s that the man now has only two things in life that he wants.”

“He told us. He’s working on an album.”

“He is. He’s writing again. Finally. And that’s great. That’s amazing. But what he wants, what he needs, is a home and you.”

It hurt like I didn’t think it would, or could, and I stood up fast. “Really, I can’t hear that.”

“Yeah,” he said quickly, getting up, taking my empty cup from me and then bumping me with his shoulder. “Let’s walk back.”

After he threw the cups away, we again stepped into the street, walking single file down the road until we were back where we started, in front of my place.

“So you’ll like this,” he said, like things hadn’t been heavy a moment before. “Guess who’s living with me and Angie and our little girl?”

“Tell me.”

He tipped his head at me, then raised his hands up like it was obvious, made me smile.

“Luther?”

“Yeah. That’s right. Fuckin’ Luther.”

“You love him.”

“I used to love him. Now he’s annoying.”