Page 28 of The Allure of Ruins

“What?”

I glared at him. “You must begin to make quicker intuitive leaps or this can never work.”

“What makes you think⁠—”

“Faster,” I gave the command, snapping my fingers.

It took him only a moment. “Oh, the other assistant.”

“Very good.”

“Is she an ass like you?”

“I beg your pardon?”

He gestured at me. “You know you’re a dick. Come on.”

I tsked at him.

“Pass me the phone.”

“Your cell or the monster on your desk?”

“The monster.”

I stood up and passed him the phone that could have twelve lines holding at once—it was a beast—and watched him as he first put it in his lap and then picked up the handset. I was then informed that he was calling HR. “Hey, is this Rebecca? It is Rebecca, isn’t it?” He listened a moment. “Tanya. Really?”

“Oh dear God,” I groaned. The man didn’t even know who the head of HR was?

“Zip it,” he growled, then, “Oh no, not you,” he advised Tanya. “Okay, so, I would prefer to have—” He looked up at me in question, eyebrows raised.

“Paxton Walsh.”

“—Paxton Walsh be my assistant.”

He was quiet, taking in whatever she was saying, and then pressed the handset to his chest instead of putting the call on hold. “Apparently Georgia—good memory, by the way⁠—”

“Better than yours.”

“What?”

I stared at him, waiting for him to catch up.

“Oh, yeah, well, I was eighty percent sure her name was Rebecca.”

“There has to be an organizational chart here somewhere,” I said sadly, glancing around at the boxes on the floor and then at the mess on his desk.

“It’s probably under something.” He pointed over his head at the same horror show I was eying. “But I guess Georgia came up here fifteen minutes ago, heard me curse out a police officer, and ran back to HR. She’s too scared to come back.”

“You are loud.”

“I fell!” he yelled defensively.

“Modulate,” I ordered him.

“I fell,” he repeated with much less volume.

“You scared her before you were chasing me around the desk,” I reminded him.