Page 177 of A Matter of Time

I drove us to the jazz club across the street from my apartment and we talked and laughed and listened, and he gave me a nod that let me know he liked both the music and the company. I offered him a cup of tea after the last set and he draped an arm around my neck as he crossed the street with me.

He liked my apartment—the wooden framed windows, exposed beams, and the ceiling fans that looked like they were as old as the building itself. Content to sit on the counter and watch me make tea, I asked when his last long-term relationship had been. He explained about the two-year love affair with a veterinarian that had ended six months ago.

“What happened?” I prodded as I poured the water into the teapot so it could steep.

“He didn’t want to move in with me.” He sighed heavily. “I asked him to after three months and he said it was too soon, but when we hit two years and he was still saying no…it became painfully obvious that he was waiting for someone better to come along.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. He didn’t get that my love was a gift, and if somebody doesn’t appreciate the value of being loved…not a lot you can do.”

“True.”

“And your last love affair, as you put it?”

“It was five months ago, but it wasn’t anything long-term like yours. I thought it was gonna be, but the guy… It turned out he wasn’t as into me as I thought he was.”

“No?”

“No.”

“How come?”

“I think it was hard for him since he wasn’t out, ya know?”

“Oh yeah, I do know. I’ve been there.”

“Tell me.”

“I dated this guy for six months and his family had no idea he was gay. His friends all thought he was this big ladies’ man and—shit, what a mess.”

“Bad, right?”

He laughed at me. “So much worse than bad. I mean, he still calls sometimes and asks if he can see me and could I just give him some time and… It’ll never change, but he seems to have deluded himself into thinking that one of these days he’s gonna come out of the closet.”

“My guy’s a cop.”

“Oh shit! You know that’s so never gonna happen, right?”

“I know.” I nodded, exhaling slowly. “It was just tough to let go of.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder.

I shrugged. “What’re ya gonna do?”

“All I wanna do is meet somebody and settle down and just be done with this whole dating mess.” He smiled at me.

And for whatever reason, my libido turned off and my brain turned on.

“Jory?”

I stepped back and looked at him.

“What?”

“This is gonna sound really weird, like crazy woo-woo weird,” I began excitedly. “But you gotta go with it and not get mad. You need to open up your mind to the possibility that I’m not the end of your journey, but merely a signpost along the way.”

He scowled at me. “I knew you were too pretty to be sane.”