Page 44 of A Matter of Time

He moved so fast I didn’t even realize he had my wrist for a second. “You need a leash.”

“Whatever you want, Detective,” I assured him breathlessly.

He shoved me back and drove away without another word. I wondered what he was thinking.

SIX

There was just enough caffeine in my system to carry me through my day. It helped that Dane had errands for me to do from the time I got in to the time I went home. I was in perpetual motion, running, so I never sat down long enough to fall asleep. But on the L, at the end of the day, I drifted off and ended up two stops from where I was supposed to be. I was going to catch a cab, but I had always liked walking in the crisp autumn air. The smell of fall, and the chill, revived me. Flipping the collar up on my cashmere trench coat, I darted across the street toward home. I had been invited out to dinner by Nick but I’d turned him down. Kevin had called three times, Ben five, and Wade and Eddie wanted to have a “thank you for saving our ass” dinner for me. Nothing sounded appealing besides eating cereal and falling asleep in front of my TV. But it was not to be.

Halfway home I got a call from my friend Jenna, reminding me that I was supposed to be at her boyfriend, Tim’s, birthday party in an hour. They were having it at a pool hall just like he wanted, and I had better not even think about blowing her off, since I was in charge of bringing the cake. She reminded me that I had volunteered over a month ago. And I was certain that a month ago it had sounded good, sounded like it would be no big deal. But now it was a huge deal, practically horrifying in its dealness. The hoops I would need to jump through at this late hour to accomplish my task were beyond all imagining. Like changing clothes and catching a cab and carrying and balancing something awkward. It was whiny and petty, but I was tired. I swore all the way home.

Fortunately, Dane had caterers all over the city that loved him and would do anything for him, day or night, whenever he asked. Dropping his name was cheating, but I told myself it was okay since it was for a good cause. When I showed up at the Stick House an hour later, Jenna was mad for a second before she saw the cake. All was forgiven as she looked at how intricately it was decorated and saw the many layers. I got a lot of praise lavished on me by everyone. I appreciated it even as I found a barstool against the wall. Shaking my head no, I declined the many offers to play pool and instead just sat and people-watched. I crossed my arms and relaxed, meaning to only close my eyes for a second.

The shaking woke me, because it wasn’t gentle. I opened one eye before tilting my head back and finding myself looking up at the square jaw of Detective Kage.

“No,” I whined, straightening up too fast, throwing myself off-balance. I would have pitched forward to the floor if he hadn’t put his arm across me to bump me back into the wall. He did it like you do when you’re in the car and you stop suddenly—putting your arm in front of the other person like that action will save their life and keep them from flying through the windshield.

“Are you even awake?” he asked me irritably.

“Yes,” I snapped at him, annoyed that he was there. I had told myself that I would stop fantasizing about him and so had wanted to put a lot of time and distance between us. The fact that he had materialized out of thin air was unnerving. “Why are you here?”

“I’m with my friends.”

“Then go be with them.”

He ignored me completely. “You were sliding down the wall when I came over here.”

I didn’t want to talk to him.

“You were passed out next to me.”

I hopped down off the barstool, nearly falling until he steadied me with a hand on my arm.

“Careful.”

I rolled my shoulder so he’d have to let go and walked away. I found Jenna and kissed her goodbye, then surprised Tim by kissing him as well before walking out of the pool hall. I was debating whether to get a cab or take the train when I heard someone calling me. I turned around as Detective Kage jogged up in front of me.

“I should take you home.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” I grumbled, angry for no good reason. “Go back in and hang with your friends. I’m not some damn charity case.”

“Okay,” he agreed like he couldn’t have cared less and then turned around and left me.

I was really happy and really sad at the exact same time. Because even though I knew that logically he needed to go away, I still wished he had stuck around.

I stood there in front of the pool hall, raking my fingers through my hair, and just breathed. I was restless and tired and hungry. My emotions were all over the place, and the best thing for me to do was be alone. But I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted company. Soothe-my-nerves company. I tried to think of someone to call.

“What are you doing?”

I turned my head to look at Detective Kage. He was back.

“I asked you a question.”

I let out a long exhale. “I’m thinking.”

“Jesus, don’t start now.”

“You’re hilarious. You should do stand-up.”