Page 459 of A Matter of Time

“Do they blame me or Dane?”

“People can’t be blamed for the craziness of others, J. Why would they begrudge you your life? That’s stupid.”

I just stared into his eyes. What was I supposed to say? “Hey, why do you think Caleb went to Dane’s apartment that night when he left the hospital? Why did he grab Candace?”

“I have no idea.”

“Just c’mon…venture a guess.”

“Maybe he panicked. I mean, he was already planning on setting up his mother, but he thought we’d figured it out.”

“You did figure it out. I was the idiot that saw more there than there was. You knew he was guilty. I was the only one who thought he was innocent.”

“You thought the best of him because he was your friend. Just let it go.”

I had no choice.

“It’s too bad that Susan’s last choice was a bad one.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, if she had told Dane about Caleb, not gone to jail for him, and protected you and Dane…maybe she would’ve had that chance with him that she was looking for.”

“But she thought she had already lost Dane.”

He leaned forward, staring at me across the counter, him in the kitchen cooking, me sitting on a barstool watching him. “But she still had you, and having you…she would’ve gotten Dane eventually. All she had to do was protect you and she would’ve had your brother in the palm of her hand.”

“But she didn’t.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No,” he said, passing me a plate with a very large cheese-and-ham omelet on it. “I just want you to get it finally. I want you to realize that you are not a superhero, you are not bulletproof. You need me to protect you, and I need to do it. All I want is to stand between you and the world… Please just let me.”

I nodded.

“You agree, but then you just go off and do whatever the hell you feel like.”

But I had learned my lesson. I was tired of being scared. I would let Sam take care of me.

“So what?”

“Give me another chance, okay?” I asked him. “I promise to start making phenomenally good choices from here on in.”

He squinted at me. “Who are you kidding? I just want you to let me know what’s going on so I’m not blindsided and so I can be there every time to dig you out.”

I let out a deep breath. “Absolutely.”

He shook his head like I was exhausting. “You want salsa on that?”

“Yes, please.”

Later, I cleaned the kitchen as he went and collapsed on the couch.

“Oh, by the way,” he called over to me. “I got a call from vice today, from a Detective Adams.”

I turned from wiping down the stove and looked at him.