Page 28 of Crusher

“Momma,” Kayden giggles, and I chase him around the school football field, a grin on my face.

“What, I just want a kiss, trouble,” I call, and I hear his friends laughing, but Kayden doubles as I catch him, then kiss his face several times, and he laughs louder.

“Next time, I want a kiss?” I ask my son with a pointed brow, and he grins that cheeky grin that looks just like his father's, and he answers, “I run faster,” before he gets out of my hold and sprints to the other end of the field, and my mouth drops.

That cheeky little…

“Freckles?” Hayes whispers from behind me, but I shake my head as he grazes my hips, and take a step forward, not wanting him to touch me again, and I slowly walk over to the bed, my eyes taking in all the wires.

The beeping should be soothing, it should be reminding me he is alive, but all it’s doing is setting my nerves off because it means he really is here when he shouldn’t be, he should be tucked in his own bed.

“Hey Alex,” I hear whispered, but I don’t look up. Instead, I gently take my son's limp hand, and my tears fall harder.

I feel like I’m in a nightmare that I just can’t seem to wake up from.

“Tell me, Trick,” I whisper, needing to know the extent of his injuries.

“His subclavian artery was nicked by the bullet, which caused him to have a pneumohemothorax,” Trick explains, and I shake my head, not understanding.

“I-I, I don’t…”

Hayes cuts me off and dumbs it down, “It means his lung collapsed and would have caused severe damage without surgical intervention. We managed to get him here quickly, but because of the blood loss, his heart couldn’t cope, and he had to be resuscitated six times overall, and for a body his size, he may not wake.”

Another sob releases, and Trick clears his throat before he chokes, “If he does wake, he’ll need a few months of rehabilitation. With his age, his body is more prone to healing, say an adult our size would.”

“He wants to be a wide receiver,” I whisper with pain, “his dream is to do college ball…”

“Is he left-handed?” Trick asks, and I look up at him, my tears spilling over as I shake my head, and he nods, then confirms, “Then I don’t see there being an issue with him playing after he’s healed.”

“If he wakes?” I confirm, and he flinches but nods before he looks at Hayes, whom I refuse to look at, then back at me, and he says, “The doctors want to keep him on the vent for twenty-four to forty-eight hours before possibly weaning him off it. If his heart doesn’t continue to work without it, he’ll be placed straight back on it, but I’ll try my best to advocate for him. I only have clearance for so long here.”

I nod, and he whispers, “I don’t want you to go back into a comatose state, Alex. I don’t want to send you over the edge, but I-I, fuck, you need to prepare yourself, sweetheart. His injury, while it's something you can normally come back from, he lost a lot of oxygen.”

I nod again and look back at my son, and I gently take a seat, keeping a hold of his hand.

A throat clears before Trick says, “Your boss called you when I had to sedate you. I explained what happened, and he told me to let you know to take all the time you need.” Again, I nod, not taking my eyes off my son, and he finishes, “Kodi and Knuckles have gone to your house to pack some things for you both.”

“Thank you,” I choke, and I finally look at him to find his eyes full of unshed tears as he nods, before looking at my son.

“Tell me about him, baby,” Hayes whispers, and more tears fall as I look at my son.

“He’s trouble,” I choke, “he’s top of his class but can sometimes be a little over the top. He can be accident-prone, yet every single teacher loves him,” I let out a sob as I squeeze my son's hand. “He used to hate baths, he’d pout knowing I would always give in. Even if it meant going to the football field at six in the morning just so he knows his game. Hates fish but loves fish tacos, he-he’s everything,” I sob, and I drop my head, my shoulders shaking, my sobs tearing from me.

I could lose him, my baby, my son.

***

Beeping echoes in the room, and I blink slightly before lifting my head, and my tears fall seeing Kayden, and I realize it wasn’t a dream, and I sniffle as I put his hand to my mouth.

“You’ve been missed,” I hear whispered, and I look up and lock eyes with Kodi, whose tears fall.

“I feel like I can’t breathe,” I choke, and she nods, her hand holding my son's other.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a baby,” she croaks, and I snort as I shake my head and look back at my son.

“He saved me,” I whisper, “When I thought I couldn’t breathe, that what Hayes did was going to destroy me, I gave birth to him, and everything settled for me. I missed his father, I knew I’d never love anyone else, but this sweet, kind, caring, and funny boy gave me a reason to keep going, he saved me, and now, I-I could lose him, the reason why I’m still breathing.”

“Have faith, Alex, please have faith, don’t give up,” Kodi pleads, and I look at my old friend and show her my pain, and I sob, “I lost my faith years ago, Kodi, a woman, a scorned woman, shot my innocent child, all because she thought he was her husband's mistress's child and because of her jealousy. I may never see my son’s dark blue eyes again, I may never hear his laugh…”