Page 40 of Guarding Glenda

At the risk of pissing her off, I walked over and sat down next to her, rubbing her back. Her body jumped as she sniffled and whimpered.

Her voice was muffled by Bruce but she finally asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

There were a few things she could be talking about, but I had an idea what she meant. I sighed, my hand slowing on her back. “Glenda–”

“No, no dancing around it, Leigh.” She pulled her face away from Bruce. She was red and tears stained her cheeks. Some of Bruce’s hair stuck to her. “All this time you let me hate you. Why?”

“You’d already been hurt so much.”

“Bullshit,” she seethed. “It was club business right? You didn’t tell me because of the club.”

“You know what…” I took a beat. “You’re right. But I wasn’t lying either. You’d been hurt by him so many times and stayed loyal. Knowing the truth wouldn’t change what happened. And Sam said–”

“Fuck Sam. Fuck Hammer. And fuck you, Leigh,” she said on another sob. “I kept telling myself he loved me even though he showed me otherwise. He saved me from one monster, but turned out to be one, too. My dumbass made so many excuses.” She wiped her cheeks. “And when he died, you all just let me think it was random. And I blamed you. And you knew. And you didn’t try to change my mind.”

“Glenda, you had a lot going on and Sam–”

She shot to her feet. “Goddammit, I already said fuck him! I’ve been stuck in a delusion for months because none of you had the balls to tell me he turned!” she shouted. “Did you think I’d turn, too? Have I not been loyal to the Bastards? And I thought you…”

Standing, I got closer. “You thought what?” I asked as rivulets of rain fell from her hair.

Her brow furrowed and she grimaced as tears fell from her red eyes. “I thought you felt something.”

“I did. I do. You know that.”

“Why didn’t you fight for me then?” she whispered, her chin trembling.

Wiping my hand down my face, I said, “Between Hammer and your, well, condition, after they told you, I didn’t know what to do, Glenda.”

“No. Before that. The night we…”

Stepping closer, I ran my thumb over her cheek. “The night I had you. You mean that one?”

She nodded.

“You were his Old Lady, Glenda.”

She shoved me away. “You knew what he did. What he was doing. And you left me there with him. If you felt anything, why? Why didn’t you fight for me?” she shouted. Her body shook as more tears fell.

“Would you have left him? Huh?” I was getting loud, too. “Was he a piece of shit to you? Yes. But he was my brother. And he’d already patched you, Glenda. You know what that means.”

She swiped at her cheeks. “You know what, you’re right. I stayed with him even though he was terrible. But he was strung out. I hoped he would change. Be like he was before. But he only got worse.”

“You stayed loyal to him. Just like I was loyal to the club.”

A growl rose in her throat. “But when he was gone, you didn’t fight for me. I don’t understand you. Why did you bring me here, Leigh?” she asked, waving her arms around the living room. “Why did you take care of me?”

“Because no matter how much you hate me, I’ll always love you, Glenda.”

More tears filled her eyes and her shoulders drooped. “Then why didn’t you tell me what really happened?”

“How did you even find out?”

She stopped, her brows pinching. “Why does that matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t. But I’m sorry. I wish I told you. I tried to tell you so many times, but you’d barely look at me.”

“Because I thought you would be the one to save me, and you didn’t! I couldn’t leave or get out because he patched me in, and you knew that.” She shook her fingers in her hair. “Then I thought you took away the only thing I had that was supposed to be mine. Even that was bullshit, but what else did I have? What else could I do?”