Page 24 of Grumpy

CHAPTER 5

There was a possibility Grumpy owed Grimm a case of beer. Due to a multi-vehicle accident on the road back from Pittsburgh, Grimm and Grumpy’s mother were delayed by nearly two hours. Even the backroads were blocked so emergency vehicles had paths in and out of the area. When Grumpy’s phone wouldn’t stop buzzing from his mom’s messages, he turned it off and decided to lay down for a bit.

It was dusk by the time Grimm’s SUV pulled into Grumpy’s driveway. Grumpy was drinking a protein shake the burn ward had dubbed a “Burn Shake”. Basically, it was a high fat, high protein milkshake times three. Häagen-Dazs ice cream, whole milk, milk powder, whey protein powder, peanut butter, and something to give it flavor. Grumpy rotated between chocolate or strawberry syrup or he switched out the peanut butter for orange juice to make a creamsicle-like milkshake. Too bad he was on so many meds that he couldn’t also add some vodka or whiskey.

When he saw the headlights aim for his stretch of the road, Grumpy headed for the front door. He hadn’t eaten that much today, so he brought the shake with him. He’d lost a lot of weight and muscle mass over the past six months. Per his doctors, he should be consuming thirty-five to forty-five hundred calories per day. But that was a shit ton of food, and with his altered diet of soft foods, that was a hard number to reach. The burn shakes helped, but there was only so much ice cream a man could eat before he started running to the bathroom. Which was as counterproductive as his mom’s burnt food.

Grumpy was only six weeks out from rehab, and while that seemed like a long time from one perspective, it wasn’t from his. His life had changed so drastically that finding his new normal might take several more months, maybe even a year.

All he knew was that his new normal would include Kelly. It was the one thing he was certain of.

By the time Grumpy made it down his front stairs, his mom was already out of the SUV and hurrying over to him.

“Oh, baby,” she cooed, approaching him with wide open arms. “I knew it was that medication. I knew you needed me. Why are you out and about? Why aren’t you in bed?”

Though Grumpy was slower than her, he successfully sidestepped her embrace and kept walking towards the SUV where Grimm waited. Smart man. He hadn’t even attempted to get Margery’s luggage out of the back.

“Jesse? Jesse! What’s going on? Where are you going? Jesse!”

Grumpy ignored his mother as he approached Grimm. “Left out of the driveway, right at the stop sign, two houses down on the left.”

Grimm raised an eyebrow. “I’m starting to feel like a fucking chauffeur.”

“Would you rather I tell Keys you made me walk?” Grumpy threw back at him.

Grimm’s eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “Low blow, man.” He glanced over Grumpy’s shoulder at Margery, who was still failing to get Grumpy’s attention. “Fine. But you owe me a favor. Open-ended, no questions asked.”

He held out his hand to Grumpy.

Grumpy took it. It was a fair request after all. Hell, Grumpy probably would have accepted owing Grimm three open favors after the man suffered through his mother all day long. Then Grumpy noticed the headphones in the cupholder and guessed that Grimm hadn’t heard a word of his mother’s bitching.

“Jesse. I demand to know what is going on! Why aren’t you in bed? It’s past dinner time. I need to get you fed and check your wounds. Who knows what you’ve done today and how badly you’ve hurt yourself without me here. I have no idea why you sent me away in the first place. What were you thinking? You weren’t thinking, that’s what. All I have done for you and you’ve ruined it in one day. And this man is the rudest, most insufferable man I have ever met! How dare he treat me like this. Ordering me around, guarding me from leaving the airport! I would like to have a word with his mother. I—Where are you going!?”

Grumpy got in the passenger seat of the SUV and closed the door as Grimm got into the driver’s. He lowered the window to his mom, standing outraged beside the cage. “I’m headed over to Kelly’s. You’re welcome to come or stand here throwing a tantrum. Your choice.”

Margery’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water for several seconds before she practically hopped into the back seat.

“Kelly? Your waitress friend?”

Since Kelly had left the hospital six months ago, she’d rarely come around in person. Their communication had been reduced to text messages. Whether his mother knew that fact or not, Grumpy didn’t know or care. This, however, was the first time his mom had referred to Kelly as his “waitress” friend since he’d gotten his jaw unscrewed.

“You say that like you’re not a secretary and I’m not a mechanic, Mom.”

Grimm made a sound that was almost a chuckle as his mom practically clutched her imaginary pearls in the back seat.

It took his mom a second to compose herself again. “Why,” she asked sharply, “are we going to Kelly’s, I assume, apartment?”

Grimm pulled into the two-story house at that exact second.

“Well, since you like telling stories of my past to her so much, I figure it’s only fair for you to retell them in my presence. Or at least, when I’m conscious.” Grumpy opened the door, and without waiting for his mother, headed up the drive to Kelly’s front door.

An older woman with curlers in her hair answered the doorbell. She wore a thin pink bathrobe with gold Stars of David embroidered into the fabric, greenish something smeared over her nose and chin, and those toe separators Grumpy had seen the ol’ ladies use when they gave each other pedicures.

“Ya,” the woman who could only be Ruth, Kelly’s mother, said as she unabashedly looked Grumpy up and down. “I see what the fuss is about. A shtarker. Gut.”

“Ma! You left your walker in the living room!” Kelly’s voice came from further in the house, getting louder as she spoke. Then Grumpy saw her round the bottom of the steps that was just beyond the front doorway. “Who’s at the door—oh shit!”

Ruth grinned over her shoulder at her daughter, who had the same green stuff all over her face and her hair wrapped up in some sort of cloth. “Oy ya. A shtarker and lekker. Not bad, mameleh.”