Page 56 of Healed

“I don’t know,” I replied honestly, my eyes drifting back to her, gravitating to her, called by a higher power I didn’t understand.

Could I let her go if that’s what she wanted? Was I even capable of living without her in my life in one form or another?

Dante was right. I had let her make her decisions last time, but I had never really let her go. Not in any way that truly mattered.

For over twenty years, Gabriella had been my one constant other than the club. From stupid kids, annoying teenagers, to young adults against the world. All the way to where we were now, a lifetime between us and a lifetime keeping us apart.

Could I really give that up and let her go completely?

“It doesn’t change anything,” I said. “Nico still needs to die.”

“I agree. But once the wheels are set in motion, there’s no turning back. I’ll support you no matter how this ends up, you know that. I just want to be clear about where your head’s at.”

“My head is in the game,” I said firmly. “Nico dies by my hand. Yes, I’m doing this because of her,” I nodded my head in Gabriella’s direction. “But I’m also doing it for everyone else he’s hurt.”

“That’s a long list.”

“I’ll make his death as painful as he made theirs, have no doubt.”

“I don’t,” Dante laughed. “But then what?”

“And then… I’ll deal with it,” I settled on saying. “Let’s just get the next few weeks over with, and then I’ll deal with what Gabriella wants.”

“I can’t do that.”

“What the fuck do you mean, you can’t do that?”

“I can’t enter into another war if it means losing you at the end. And I don’t mean death,” he rushed to add when I scoffed and went to open my mouth. “But I’ve watched you slowly kill yourself for years. You’ve come damned close a time or two, and we both know it. I’ve kept the worst of it from the club, but I can’t watch it happen again, Vienna. I can’t watch you drink yourself to death, or put yourself in stupid situations because you’re running away from your pain.”

“Rachel has made you soft,” I muttered, wanting to deflect the conversation. Wanting anything but to focus on those painful years without Gabriella.

“We both know that’s not true,” Dante laughed again. “And you can try to change the topic all you want. I’ll keep circling back around to it. But what I really need to know is if you’re prepared.”

“Prepared for what?”

“Are you prepared to kill, to destroy dozens of lives, just to potentially end up in the same position you’re in now? Are you prepared to let her go, to realise that no matter what, nothing you could have done will be enough? I hope it doesn’t come to that. I hope she throws herself at you and you create dozens of bearded… what did Rachel call them?”

“Viennettas,” I replied, my throat tight.

“Right. I hope you have dozens of bearded Viennettas. But are you ready and prepared to face the fact that this might not be a possibility?”

I looked at Gabriella again.

“I guess we’ll find out when the time comes. That’s the best I can give you.”

I could feel Dante staring at me. But after a few long seconds he nodded. “I guess that’s all I can ask for, brother.”

He slapped me on my shoulder, put out his smoke, and walked out of Church.

I stayed where I was, watching Gabriella, drinking in her every movement, knowing full well I had just lied to my brother again.

The truth of the matter was simple. Gabriella was mine, and I wasn’t prepared to let her go. Even if she needed to leave me, even if her happiness demanded she left this place, and every memory she had, I couldn’t do it.

For once, I was willing to be selfish and keep her here, because losing her was not a possibility I was even willing to entertain.

Not anymore.

By the end of this, Gabriella would be my old lady. Truthfully, she already was. Whether she realised that or not.