Page 134 of Captive Ruin

Oh, he talks a good game. Some of his lines had me convinced… momentarily. No, more than that. Enough to feel something like hope. But does he really know me? I don’t know him. It’s been weeks, not months, and certainly not years. And we’re married.

How much of a mistake was this?

A goddamn humongous one.

And now he’s left me again.

But that’s not fair. The work he’s doing is exactly what this marriage is based on: keeping me safe, my sister safe, and him too. Undoing the work that Serranto started, that ultimately I’m responsible for.

I never told him that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. But it was sitting behind every decision yesterday, taunting me. This is your fault. This is your penance. This is on you.

Despite that, I still tried to say no. And he knew I would; he was ready.

I won’t underestimate him again.

The shower has eased my soreness, but not my heart, and I shut it off and pull on comfortable clothes. I’m half grateful I still don’t have access to a phone. I should call my sister—or damn it, even Sierra—let someone know I’m married.

But I can’t bring myself to. Not when they’ll ask to whom, how, when, where… and the most damning one of all: why. I have no answers.

This was a mistake. And yet it was necessary.

That dichotomy is going to plague me forever.

The thought almost makes me cry, and he’s not even here to hold me. Am I a wife, or a convenience?

That’s the problem with a marriage of convenience… I’m both, and neither too.

I mope around for a few days, and he’s still not back.

Then that morning, Tony finds me at breakfast in the kitchen.

“Lukas asks if you want to go shopping.”

“Is he here?” I turn to look past him.

“No, but he’s left me his card.”

I sag as disappointment fills me. I don’t want his goddamn money, I want him.

But I do want to buy a phone. Will they let me?

“Are there limits on what I can buy?” I ask tentatively.

Tony slaps a card down on the counter. Van Wyk has left me his American Express, and it’s black with gold trim. “There isn’t a limit on this,” he says, tone neutral, then walks off.

That’s not what I meant at all, but screw Tony.

I finish my breakfast, staring at the card. No limit on it, and more than that, he hasn’t made me sign a pre-nup.

Fuck.

I could divorce him… I could take half.

The thought flies through my head, and I laugh. It’s all so ridiculous.

How would it even work? He gets his office, the garage, and the Maybach, and I get the pool, the sunroom, and Linda? I’d immediately lose his protection from the Volkovs, and Lucy would be vulnerable again.

Worse, I’d be vulnerable to him. Divorce a man like Van Wyk? It’s unthinkable.