Page 240 of The Defiant Curse

“I’m sorry that I said that to you. If I could, I’d take it back. We were both in the wrong,” she said, hoping he’d let her help him, like he helped her. “What are you going to do?”

He laughed.

Honestly, he had no idea.

“Well, if I stay with the FBI, we can go back to DC. If I stay as a Shaman, I can’t work cases with my family, and will need to turn in my badge. Only, that’s important to me too. Once more, I’m straddling both worlds, and I feel like I’m not in either one.”

She understood that.

Oh, more than anyone.

“So, I figured I’d work through it at some point and make up my mind when I had no other choice. I’ll wing it, I guess.”

She didn’t judge and didn’t give him a suggestion because he hadn’t asked her what to do, he’d wanted someone to listen.

“I support you either way. I know that no matter what you choose, it will all work out.”

Honestly, he’d been waiting for advice. This was NOT advice.

So, he was curious.

“What would you do?” he asked.

She laughed.

“I’d go shit nuts on the tribal council, make them cry, and then burn the place down around me as I got my giddy on from making grown men weep. Then, I’d tell them to fuck all the way off, but that’s just me. I’m subtle like that.”

He laughed.

Yeah, if subtle was a nuke.

“That’s a very Elizabeth way of handling things, and it works for you. For me, not so much. People expect different reactions from us, unfortunately. If I lose it, there’s no going back. You losing your shit is part of the show, and entertaining. When I lose it, it’s more terrifyingly dark.”

Yeah, she knew what he was saying, and it was accurate.

“What do you want to do?” she asked.

He considered it.

“I want to do both. I was enjoying both, and I felt…home. Before this case, I felt like for the first time, I was accepted in both worlds. Clearly, that’s not the case. So, here we are. Both of us are two people without a country, so to speak. Homeless.”

She pointed one thing out.

“For two homeless people, we certainly have way too many homes. I can’t turn around without walking into a home.”

That they did.

Thanks, Callen and Chris.

“Surely, we can do something,” she offered.

“I figure that I’ll give them time to calm down, bury Rayna and Lance, and then see what I can work out. If I’m not there, they can’t ask for an answer. Thus, me running again.”

She touched his cheek, and when he looked into her eyes, she shared how she felt about it.

“If you have to choose, choose what makes you happiest. Not what you think we want you to choose. Don’t let what happened between us make you change your path.”

Yeah, only, he did that once.