Page 30 of Stand on That

I rang the bell and waited for Bree to answer. I had a key, but I never used it. I didn’t want the lines blurred. I hadn’t had sex with her since the night she got pregnant. For the most part, Bree had accepted that we weren’t going to be. In some odd way, I think she was satisfied with having my child. I wasn’t her husband, but I had still given her one of the things she wanted. A baby. Bree was a great mother and as long as she put my daughter first, I had no beef with her about anything she did. If she was dating, I didn’t know it. I honestly didn’t care.

She opened the door with Dymand on her hip and the moment my mini me saw me, her eyes lit up. With her dark brown skin, coal black curls, and round doe shaped eyes, she was the spitting image of me. Bree simply carried her, but Dymand was me in girl form. With a grin a mile wide showing the two teeth she had at the top and two on the bottom, Dymand reached for me, and that shit melted my heart.

I wasted no time placing the shopping bags on the floor by the door and taking my baby from Bree. “Winter shopping for shorty is done,” I announced closing the door behind me.

Bree picked the bags up and shook her head. “Shopping for her is never done. It’s still summer, and I bet you’re about to start on Christmas.”

“Smart woman,” I replied before kissing Dymand on her chubby cheek.

Bree was dressed in gray sweats and a white sports bra. For her first Mother’s Day I got her a mommy makeover and while she never dressed provocatively, she never missed the chance to show off her flat stomach. She was smart, successful, pretty, and had a nice body. I was sure Bree could have a man if she really wanted one. I couldn’t fathom that she was holding out hope for me because I didn’t love her. I had love for her, and I respected her, but I wasn’t in love with her. When she hinted that she wanted a sibling for Dymand and that she preferred they have the same father, I knew I’d be a fool to ever stick dick to her again. I wasn’t even risking it with a condom.

I sat down on the couch and played with Dymand while Bree put her things away. Bree kept an immaculate home, and that was another thing I admired about her. Dymand’s room was organized to perfection. Her pantry looked like some shit from a magazine. Everything had a place and was always neat. All 3,000 square feet of it.

When Bree came back in the room, she sat on the opposite end of the couch.

“I’m going to pick her up Friday and keep her until Monday morning. I’ll drop her off at daycare.”

“Okay.”

There was a brief silence that felt awkward for some reason.

“So, I heard Vani is about to come home soon.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with you.” I never took my eyes off Dymand while I spoke to Bree.

“It will if she’s going to be around Dymand.” That may have been a valid reason, but Bree wasn’t slick. What she really wanted to know was if me and Vani were getting back together.

I refused to admit out loud that Vani would more than likely never want to be around my daughter. And while I could understand and respect it, I couldn’t be with a woman that didn’t rock with my child. Vani wasn’t fucking with me anyway for a few reasons, but Dymand was the main one.

The entire time she’d been in prison, that shit hurt a nigga. It was a heartbreak I had never fully healed from. But her walking the streets and me not being able to snatch her ass up and take her home with me, that was going to be the shit that I couldn’t handle. When I didn’t respond, Bree knew to leave it alone. I wasn’t dealing with her, but I had a few chicks I hit every now and then. Since Vani went away, I hadn’t taken a woman out on a date. I had only taken Bree on a trip two months before she was about to give birth because I had finally accepted that we were having a kid, and I may as well get used to it. I took her on what they call a baby moon to Bali, but we slept in different rooms.

I made it very clear to any woman that I dealt with that I didn’t want shit besides sex. I actually preferred to go out of town and deal with women. That way there was no running into them in clubs or them worrying about what I was doing. I had dealt with a chick in Miami a few times. I had a jawn out in Golden Waters that I hit a handful of times, and I even had a chick in Atlanta that I dealt with a few times. There were no phone conversations, outings, trips, or dates. We just came together when it was time to have sex and afterward, I was out the door faster than they could take a shower.

I knew Vani didn’t want to be with me, and I still refused to get serious with anyone else. I was focused on my daughter, school, and money. It was so serious that there was a bad ass chick in one of my classes that flirted with me often. Shorty was pretty as hell. One of the prettiest chicks I’d seen in a minute, and I wanted no parts of it. For one, she was local. For two, she had a sweet, innocence about her that reminded me of Vani. I wasn’t trying to fall a second time. Once was more than enough.

Thirty minutes after I arrived at Bree’s house, I fed Dymand some baby food and gave her a bottle. I then gave her a bath and read her a bedtime story. When she fell asleep on my chest I didn’t move for at least twenty minutes. Finally, I eased her in her crib and left the house. My next stop was to Azarius’ crib. I wasn’t surprised when I saw Hailey’s car in the driveway. After Vegas, Azarius and Hailey started dealing with one another. It wasn’t anything serious for a long time. Within the past year, they had turned their toxic up and were a hot mess. Hailey rode by Azarius’ crib and saw another female’s car. She didn’t trip. The next weekend, she was in Charlotte at a Hornet’s game booed up with some nigga. She stayed in Charlotte the entire weekend shopping, partying, and recording it all. Azarius was pissed. He was so pissed I couldn’t do shit but laugh.

He called her and cursed her out. The next weekend, he was laid up with her, and all I could do was shake my head. Occasionally, I saw Hailey out and every now and then, I saw her with Azarius, but I didn’t see her too much. She was cordial, but shorty wasn’t exactly my biggest fan, and I couldn’t blame her. I kept money in Vani’s account during her entire bid. I waited every day for her to call me. I didn’t visit her because I wasn’t doing all that. I sold drugs for a living. Visiting her that one time when she was in jail had my skin crawling because I felt like I was walking myself into a snake pit.

She only called once during her entire bid. Once streets started talking and it got back to her that Bree was pregnant, she called me. Said she wanted to hear it from my mouth. When I confirmed it, she hung up on me, and she hadn’t called me since. I wrote her two letters. She didn’t respond to them. I couldn’t even be sure she read them. For three years Vani had been out of sight but never out of my mind. Bagging up all the shit she left at my crib and taking it to Lo had a nigga sick.

For the past two months, I had been shopping for Vani. Whenever I bought me and Dymand something, I bought her something. I hadn’t seen her, so I didn’t know her exact clothing size, but I knew her shoe size. Certain shit I assumed would be cool like a large in leggings or sweats. I got her casual shit to chill in and fly shit to go out and be seen in. Everything from Alo, LuLu Lemon, and Nike to Gucci and Louis Vuitton. I got her heels, sneakers, sandals, shades, purses, a watch, earrings. I was going all out for shorty. I also planned to get her a BMW and a crib. One of the Chanel bags I got her held $20,000 inside.

Everything I had for her was going to be given to her through Hailey. I wanted Vani to know that there were no strings attached. It would make my day if she wanted me back, but I wasn’t expecting it. The few times I talked to Lo, she made me aware that Vani didn’t call her or their parents much. She was withdrawn. Vani dealt with immense anger and depression. She was mad at herself and sad about her circumstances which were understandable. Vani didn’t belong in prison. My heart ached the time Lo told me she was in the hole for a week because she beat some chick up. The woman kept popping shit and she thought it was sweet ‘cus Vani was so short. My baby left her leaking.

She had survived three years in the belly of the beast, and I didn’t want her to come home and want for anything. Even if she didn’t deal with me, I still wanted her to be good because I loved Vani. When she left me, I was pissed. I didn’t go looking for her because I was angry that she left over nothing. I didn’t want to have to explain myself when I hadn’t done anything. But being stubborn didn’t get me anywhere. When I found out she had been arrested, I was shocked. Lo came to the house and cursed me out thinking Vani got caught with my drugs. It wasn’t until Jared contacted Lo sounding all paranoid and scared thinking Vani was gon’ snitch on him that she realized what had happened.

I saw one picture of Vani during the time she was locked up, and my baby was so got damn fine, I couldn’t stop staring at the photo. Hailey had posted it on her social media page. Vani was wearing khaki pants and a brown tee, and she was thick as shit. Her ass and thighs had more than doubled in size. Her hair was thick and full. She had it pulled into a high ponytail, and it still touched the nape of her neck. Her face was full, and she looked healthy. Her skin was kind of pale due to lack of sun, but she was still badder than a lot of women out in the free world. No jewelry, no makeup, no lashes, no weave, and she was still badder than a two-year-old. I could only imagine when she came home and put that shit on.

I had plans to tell Hailey to find a nice house for Vani, and I was going to give her the money to pay the rent for the first six months. I wanted her to live in some fly shit out in the suburbs. Only time would tell what would happen once Vani came home. I could hope and pray. I could even dream but whether or not she fucked with me was entirely up to Vani.

The next day, I was walking out of class when my pretty classmate, Ebony tapped me on the arm. “You good? You look kind of down.”

“Down?” I raised my brows with a chuckle. “Nah, I’m not down. Just got a lot on my mind.” And I did. Vani would be home in a week.

Aside from that, I had two exams to study for, and I was running the streets heavy. My clientele had tripled over the years. The money I was seeing was next level. Shit, it was life changing. So life changing, that I was thinking about wrapping it up. It would be real sad to get so close to walking away and then end up getting arrested. Every time a dope boy got arrested, my ass would sweat bullets for about a week. I never knew who was watching. Niggas would get caught and start singing like canaries. It was a shame that some of the biggest hustlers in the city would get caught and not even hold it down the way Vani did. She wasn’t even in the game, and she walked her time down like a G.

“I definitely understand that. This calculus exam I have next week is giving me gray hair.”