Page 12 of I Wish He Would

The night I refuse to think about.

“Come on, Lyss.” Mallory shoots me a look. I should’ve known my friend who never holds back her punches would call me out. “Calling your friendship a toddler is selling your relationship short. You two may not be as close as us, but Austin knows you well.”

Maybe even better than anyone, I think.

“You see him at least once a week when his baseball schedule isn’t too crazy. That’s not a casual, toddler friendship.”

“Okay, fine, that undersells it,” I admit. “But it still doesn’t negate the fact that this is a big ask. I’d even feel bad asking one of y’all to leave work in the middle of the week to come with me.” Because of course Bianca and Bradley would choose to have a destination wedding with the ceremony and reception taking place on a Thursday, in the middle of the week.

“But you mentioned at the Thunder Over Louisville game that it’s during All-Star week. Isn’t he off then?” Shayna asks.

Why did I have to go and open my mouth? All it did was give my friends more reason to suggest Austin go with me. But he can’t. And I’m running out of excuses on why not to ask him, aside from the truth: if I take Austin as my plus-one and let him see more than what I’ve preapproved—if I really let him into my life—there’s no going back.

And even though I trust my friends with all my secrets, this is one I’ve held close to my chest. Because if they knew what really happened the night we met, they’d either tell me I’m crazy for not telling him about my feelings all these years, or they’d pity me. Neither of which I want to deal with.

“Yes, but it’s the only real vacation time he has during the season, aside from a few random days off. It would be selfish to ask him to spend that time with me at an awkward wedding when he could spend that time doing something he enjoys.”

Kelsey taps her nails on her mug. “It’s a destination wedding, so he could turn it into a vacation.”

“Vacations are always fun,” Shayna agrees.

I blow out a breath. “Not ones that include my cousin who would make Regina George look like a saint and my ex who has become eerily similar to her.”

“But you would have fun together,” Tess insists. “Doesn’t a summer beach vacation with one of your best friends sound dreamy?”

“Sure.” I smile. “So, which one of you wants to come?”

They look at each other before turning back to me.

“I think we’re all busy that week,” Mallory speaks for them.

Traitors.

I scoff. “I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin?”

Kelsey shrugs. “But us girls have to work, and we can’t just ask for a week off work at the last minute.”

I turn to Mallory since she’s a teacher. “School will be out for the summer.”

“I think I’m going to spend it out in LA.”

I can’t blame her for wanting to be with her boyfriend.

Everyone expresses how excited they are for Mal while I move my gaze to the table, defeated. I know I’ll never hear the end of it from Bianca if I don’t attend her wedding. She’ll think I didn’t come because I was too embarrassed to show my sad, single face there while she marries my ex. And I don’t want the rest of my family to pity me at every gathering we have for the years to come. I don’t want any of this. But I think attending the wedding is my only option. The best way to show everyone that I’ve moved on and am fine. No, more than fine, that I’m happy. Thriving, even. I can plaster on a smile faker than Bianca’s nose for a week of wedding festivities.

As I’ve finally accepted my fate, our food is delivered. Everyone dives into their breakfast while I nibble on crumbs of the buttermilk biscuit from my classic sausage, egg, and cheese sandwich.

“I’m gonna go alone,” I mutter, and they all gape at me.

Kelsey breaks the silence first. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Yeah, you need to show your family—and Bradley’s—how amazing your life is without him,” Tess says.

So much for baddies before baby daddies.

“And there’s no better way to do that than having a hunky pro baseball player on your arm.” Mallory takes a bite out of her hot-honey chicken biscuit.

“Oh, so all my accomplishments mean nothing if I don’t have a hot man on my arm?” I tilt my head. I know that’s not what she meant, but I need to make light of the situation to avoid feeling like a sheep being cornered by a pack of wolves.