Page 39 of I Wish He Would

“I love planning it all out on the tour bus. I scour Reddit for locals’ favorite places and make a detailed plan, so I don’t miss out on anything.”

I already live by my calendar to make sure I’m allocating enough time for each client according to their appointment requests, so I prefer flexible plans for vacations.

And who else loves flexible plans? My heart already knows the answer.

In fact, the more I think through the questions in that article, I’m hit with the realization like a punch to the gut that steals my breath away. I already know the answer to almost every one of them…about Austin.

I know Austin’s favorite shows because we love all the same ones. I know that he plays baseball because of his deep love for the sport ever since his dad taught him how to hit and throw in their basement when he was a toddler. I know his dreams for the future and his fear of getting Alzheimer’s like his grandmother and forgetting everyone he loves. And I know the last concert he went to was the Jonas Brothers, because he’s the one who surprised my friends and me with tickets and danced the night away with us.

I try to school my features, not wanting to look like my mind is elsewhere even though it definitely is. My chest rises and falls as I struggle to catch my breath. It’s not supposed to be like this. These questions were supposed to help me fall in love with Rhett. They were supposed to help me forget about my best friend. Move on. Leave the past in the past.

Rhett and I are different, and I know there are plenty of people out in the world who marry their complete opposite and they make it work, but I don’t think I’m one of them. I need someone who is going to become a couch blob with me and watch my favorite shows when I’ve had a bad day. Someone who understands that I like as minimal plans as possible for a vacation because, otherwise, it doesn’t feel like a vacation to me, and I come home feeling more exhausted than I left.

I need someone like Austin.

Not him, specifically…just someone more like him, is all.

Rhett is great. Perfect, even. A girl’s dream. But we don’t fit together. It’s time that I let him know my heart isn’t in this. I don’t want to waste his time when it’s clear I’m not getting over Austin anytime soon.

“That’s—”

“I’m—”

I laugh awkwardly. “Go ahead,” I say, trying to procrastinate so I have time to think about how to let him down gently.

Rhett presses his lips together, his playfulness gone. “I’m not sure this is gonna work.”

I sigh, relieved. “I was about to say the same thing.”

His features soften. “Oh, good. Mallory would’ve killed me if I broke your heart.” He shoots me a knowing look. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re amazing and beautiful, and I love talking to you. But my life is crazy busy right now, and I can’t help but think that your heart is already spoken for.”

I don’t want to lie to him, but I’m not sure I can trust him with the truth either. So, I decide to leave things vague. “I’m really sorry, Rhett.”

“It’s no sweat.” He runs a hand through his blond hair, leaving it tousled. “You’re a great girl, and I want you to be happy.”

“You deserve happiness, too.” I point my finger at him on the screen. “I’ll recruit Mallory’s help one day—you know how stubborn she can be—and we’ll find you the perfect girl.”

“I’m not looking for perfect,” he says.

My smile softens. “And that’s exactly why you deserve it.”

His lips tilt into a lopsided grin. “And Austin…does he deserve you?”

So much for keeping things vague.

I shrug. “It’s not like that between us.”

Rhett’s eyes narrow slightly. “Tell me this. Was he looking at you after yesterday’s game?”

There’s no point hiding the truth when it seems he already knows the answer. “Yes,” I whisper.

He nods. “I saw the look on his face when he found you in the stands. Trust me, there’s more there than you think.”

I shake my head. “We’ve only ever been friends.” Who shared one mind-altering kiss. But that feels like a lifetime ago.

“And how many romance movies start with them being just friends first?”

“Okay, fair enough.” I laugh. “Why are you being so nice about this?”