Page 18 of Embrace Me

“She told me. Something about a low residency writing program.”

“Right,” he says. “She called to apologize about living in the condo. I explained to her that it’s hers to do with as she wishes. Apparently you’d already told her the same, and she said she was glad we felt that way as she was planning to rent the condo and use the income for rent here.“

“Okay.” I’m not sure where this is going, but he seems to be coming to a point.

“I told her it was silly not to save that money if she could. She could use it for her tuition or even invest it.”

“Sure, if she lives on the street.” I tilt my head. “Wait a second…” The pieces are starting to fall together. “Damien? What are you getting at?”

“Bree needs time to write and a place to stay. We need a nanny. I’m very good at math,” he adds with a grin, “and I worked that equation out all by myself.”

“You’re serious?” I’m absolutely delighted.

“I am. Bree’s coming back to be our nanny again while she works on her novel and finishes her MFA program. Technically, she’ll be full-time, but when she needs a break, we all know that Gregory is there to fill the gap.”

I would throw my arms around him, but there’s no way I can get out of this chair fast enough. So instead I just clap, absolutely thrilled. “I wish I’d thought of that myself.”

“I didn’t think you would object, so I went ahead and offered her the position. I hope that’s okay.”

“Are you kidding? I just told you. It’s amazing.” I look over at Frank. “Isn’t he the best?”

My father laughs. “Yes. I couldn’t have asked for better for my little girl.” His face darkens, and I know that we’re shifting the conversation now. “Of course, I suppose you could have done better on the parent side of things.”

That’s worth pushing out of my chair, and I do, then go and sit beside him. “I did just fine on the paternal side of things,” I tell him as I take his hand. “A bit of a rocky start, maybe, but it’s smooth now. You know that’s how I feel, right?”

“I do.” He draws a breath. “Now my fear is that you feel the same way about your mother.”

I sink back into the cushion as Damien moves to sit on the coffee table, so that he’s directly in front of me. I look between the two of them and shrug. “I don’t want to,” I say honestly. “And I really don’t. Trust her, I mean.” I take a long, deep breath. “But I am second-guessing myself. She seemed so sincere. What if I’m wrong and she really does want to make amends?”

“Even if she does,” Damien says, “and to be clear, I don’t believe it at all. But even if she does, you don’t have to accept the apology or open our life to her. She made her bed.”

“I know,” I say, wishing I wasn’t a walking mass of hormones so I could think more clearly. “I really do know. I just feel … weepy,” I finally say. “I just want to curl up and cry about all the lost potential.”

“Sweetheart,” Frank says, giving my hand a squeeze. “I understand that. After all, we both know how much I screwed up, and you let me back in. It makes sense that you’re wondering if you should do the same with your mother.”

I nod, because it’s exactly that. What I don’t know is whether I should act on that.

“I don’t think you should,” he continues. “But I also don’t think I’m in a position to help you make that call.”

“I am,” Damien says firmly, then he leans forward and takes my hand. “I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

I draw in a deep breath. “And I don’t want to be.” I glance at Frank, then back to Damien. “But don’t people deserve second chances?”

I’m thinking out loud, still not sure what I believe, but not wanting to make a misstep in something so important.

“I mean, think about Sofia,” I continue, looking into Damien’s eyes.

I see the amber one fire with regret. The dark one with loss. “Nikki…”

“No.” I reach for his hand. “I mean it. Think about how many chances you gave her.” He’d grown up with Sofia, a disturbed young woman, who had very much had it in for me. “In the end, she really did do the right thing,” I remind him. “Despite everything, she ended up doing the right thing.”

“She did,” he agrees, “but I always knew her heart. I always knew that she loved me. But baby, your mother ... baby, I’m not sure she’s capable.”

I swallow. He’s not wrong. Even so, I say, “Maybe she’s trying.” But even as I speak the words, I know they’re not true. I’ve known my whole life that I was nothing more than a doll to my mother. Something pretty and malleable she could dress up and bend to her liking.

“I can’t trust her,” Damien says. “But if this is what you want, then we can let her back into our life.”

I draw in a breath, surprised he’d agree to that after everything she’s put us through. But at the same time, I’m not surprised. After all, Damien loves me, and I know he’ll support me. He’ll also protect me. Because God knows if I let her back into my life, everything might come crashing down around me again. And it will be Damien who picks up the pieces.