Page 78 of My Cruel Salvation

“Hey. Is Devlin up?”

“Not sure. He came in last night and covered you up right before I went to bed.”

“He should have woken me up.”

She laughs. “Believe me, he tried. He thought about carrying you to bed, but we decided to just leave you.”

“Wow. I remember none of that.”

“You were exhausted. You’d had a hell of a day.”

True enough. I pour myself a cup of coffee and am about to go poke my head in at Devlin, when Brandy blurts out, “How long would it take a statement to go public these days?”

I squint at her, trying to make sense of the words. “What do you mean?”

“Like if I wanted to say something about what Walt is putting Devlin through, how soon could it be printed in an actual publication, so that people see it? I mean, not just on a Twitter feed.”

“Honestly, something like that on your own social media would probably go viral pretty quickly once people notice it. But if you want it to have the cast of legitimacy by being published in some sort of official news media, I’d say it depended on the media. Whether or not they’re the type of place that posts things regularly, or whether they wait until an official publication date.” I study her. “Brandy, what are you thinking?”

“It just pisses me off. All of it, I mean. The house most of all, of course, but there’s nothing I can do about that. But this all started when Devlin’s reputation was attacked in New York, right?”

I nod, trying to follow her train of thought.

“Well, I can’t do anything about that, either. I mean, Devlin’s a great guy, and I know it. But it’s not like I can say that his father isn’t his father.”

“Sweetie, I know you’re upset about everything. But I am not following you here.”

“Don’t you get it? He’s being maligned by Walt.”

“I know. But he’s filed assault charges, and Devlin did assault him. What can we possibly do about it at this point?”

“I’m going public. Just like I said I might do before.”

“Devlin told you not to. That he could take care of himself. And he can. His house getting bombed has nothing to do with you staying silent.”

“I know that. But I need to do something. And Devlin told me not to do it for him. But this isn’t about Devlin. Not really. It’s about me, and what I stand for. I can’t let people think that Devlin is that way, when I know he isn’t. And you know what else? I’m tired of not standing up for myself where men are concerned. I turned a blind eye to whatever or whoever Christopher is —”

“Wait, wait. So now you really think Christopher is involved in all of this?”

“I think he has to be. So what if he sent that stupid text saying he didn’t bomb the house? At the end of the day, me thinks the man doth protest too much, right?”

She takes a sip of her veggie grossness, and continues on. “But the point isn’t even whether he’s innocent or not. The point is that he says so, and I just blithely go along. He’s wrapped up in this somehow, even if he’s the most innocent guy on the planet. And all I’m doing is sitting here being swept along in the tide.”

Her words pour out on top of each other. “And it’s not just Christopher. It’s Walt, too. It’s the fact that I chickened out and never said anything. How many more women has he done that to? And now he’s sitting here accusing Devlin? It’s ridiculous. I have power here. Power that I could use to help Devlin. Power that I could use to help myself. To finally, maybe, grow a little bit of a backbone.”

She shakes her head, then lifts her hands as if she said too much and doesn’t know where to go next.

“I get it,” I say softly. “I really get it.”

“Will you help me?”

“Yeah. Let me just go run it by—”

“No. This isn’t Devlin’s decision. This is me. I’m doing this for me. This is something I need to do. Devlin’s already told me that he has no problem with me saying whatever I need to say. And I need to say this. Please, just help me get it out there. He’s got enough on his mind without worrying about whether or not I’m making the right decision.”

I think about that, and she’s right. This is Brandy’s decision, and Devlin will worry. He’ll be afraid about how being in the spotlight will affect her, too, but she’s been living in silence for a long time, and I can tell that it’s eating away at her.

“All right. I’ll help you get the word out. Unfortunately, I can’t just publish the column for you, since I’m now unemployed. But we’ll see if we can find another magazine that can get it online pretty quickly.”