Page 23 of Memories of You

“Yeah? Well, think how much worse it would be if we wereidentical.”

“If we both looked like you? Yeah, that would be bad.”

Red didn’t even flinch. “You’re really not going to tellthem?”

“I’ll tell them. But first I’m going on this mission. FirstI’m doing this job. Before I start throwing obstacles in my path, I want themto know that I’m qualified. I don’t want anyone looking at me like I’m agoddamn invalid. They know I can do the work, they’ll overlook the hitch.”

Red started to speak, but Renly held up a hand. “I don’twant to hear about it.”

Now Red held up two hands as if pushing Renly away. “Fine,fine. It’s your life. Yours to mess up, anyway.”

“That it is. And I’m not messing up.”

For a moment they were both quiet. Then, out of the blue,Renly said, “Did you know Abby was in town?” He wasn’t quite sure why hebrought it up. She didn’t have anything to do with the trip. Except for thefact that she was the one reason he was hesitating about going. He’d justreconnected with her, and he was about to leave again for what could be atwo-month mission. Maybe more.

He shook his head, realizing he’d missed his brother’sreply. “Say again?”

“I said I had no idea she was here.”

“Yeah, turns out she’s Nikki’s partner. In a tech firm.”

“Well, what do you know, little Abigail Jones all grown up.I imagine she grew up pretty fine. She always was adorable.”

“Yeah, she still is.” He felt the smile tug at his lips andtried not to show it, absolutely certain that his brother would know what hewas thinking, a thought that was confirmed when Red said, “Oh, fuck no.”

“What?” Renly said, though he knew perfectly well what hisbrother was talking about.

“You didn’t. Did you?”

“I am not even going to answer that.”

Red dragged his fingers through his hair. “I can’t believeit. All through school you’re infatuated with that girl and you sleep with her now?Now when you’re about to go away?”

“I wasn’t infatuated with her.”

“The hell you weren’t. I was always afraid you were going toscrew it up, and I think freshman year you did. You avoided that girl like theplague. And why?”

Considering they were twins, Red and Renly were far toodifferent. His brother just didn’t understand.

But Renly had known that if they got too close, they wouldend up breaking apart. That’s exactly what happened to his parents. His dadsaid it was because of his mother’s deafness—that he couldn’t deal—and maybethat was part of it, but not all. Renly had watched them for years, and they’dbeen drifting apart and drifting apart and drifting apart.

The bottom line was that people didn’t stay together oncethey got close. They were like magnets. Get too close and all they did wasrepel each other.

He hated the thought that he could get too complacent withAbby. That she’d never again leap into his arms with the same enthusiasm shehad yesterday.

So back in high school he did the repelling first. Not thathe’d understood then what he was doing. And not that he ever expected it tolast.

All he knew was that he had to keep some distance if theywere to keep their friendship. But then suddenly he was thrust off to adifferent state.

Everything had gotten so fucked up back then. And now…

Well, now he hoped it didn’t get fucked up all over again.

A group of customers entered, laughing and talking, so Renlyconsidered that his cue to leave. He waved to his brother, then pulled open thedoor with a sigh. He stepped outside to wait for his Uber so he could go backand get his bike. He felt steady now. Safe. But he knew it wouldn’t last. Theepisodes were coming more regularly, and the meds weren’t helping.

And wasn’t that a fucked-up reality?

He was cursing his bad luck when his phone rang, and hegrinned when he saw the caller ID and took the call. “Hey, guy,” Renly said.“How’s life in LaLa Land?”