Page 30 of Sinner’s Game

I have no idea how I should react to this. Strangely, I’m not shocked. But at the same time, I’m more disappointed than I should be.

“It keeps things businesslike,” he continues. “I don’t like complications.”

“Nobody does. But complications always find people.”

“Yes,” he says, his eyes steady on mine, “I suppose they do.”

I rub my sweaty palms down the jeans I’ve changed into, trying to think of what to say. “You don’t have to tell me this.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why?” I ask, though I already know the answer.

“Because I was drunk at the wedding, and I was only thinking about what I wanted. Because you’re sweet and beautiful, and I can’t stop fantasizing about you in my bed.”

“Oh.” My entire body tingles, and I force myself not to move.

“I should never have kissed you. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. Do I want you? Hell, yeah, and more than I want to admit. But that’s as far as it goes. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do courtships or slow builds. Not now. Not anymore. Shit.”

He turns away from me as if he’s said too much. I start to ask what he means but stop myself. He’s already told me more than either of us are comfortable with.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I shouldn’t have put all of that out there. But we both know there’s an attraction, and I’m not good at playing games or pretending like there’s not. I want you, Brandy. I do. But you deserve more than a man as fucked up as I am, and nothing’s going to happen between us. The sooner we both come to terms with that, the easier it’s going to be in close quarters. Because until we’re certain that you’re safe, I’m not letting you out of my sight. Got it?”

He reaches out and takes my hand, then squeezes gently. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

The teenage girl that lives inside me wants to shrug it off and tell him that it’s fine. That I’m flattered, but I’m not infatuated with him at all. But that girl is a liar, and he’s just put the truth on the line for me. He deserves the same. “It’s okay,” I say. “I—well, you’re right. I’m not wired that way. But I am attracted to you, so you’re right about that as well.”

“I took a wild guess,” he says, and we both laugh, some of the tension leaving the air.

“But we’re still friends?”

His eyes widen. “How can you even ask that?”

“I am asking,” I say. “Are we friends?”

“Of course.” He starts the car, then reaches to put it in gear, as if too uncomfortable with my question to stay still.

“Wait. Please, let me say this.”

He closes his eyes, puts the transmission back into park, then faces me. “I know I’m a shit, Brandy. I don’t need—”

“No. No, just listen.” I pause, trying to organize my thoughts. “I don’t have a great track record with men. And, well, even though I am attracted to you, I don’t want more.” Or, I add to myself, I don’t want to want more. “Because I suck with men, and I don’t want to lose you. Or find out that you’re a huge a-hole and have my illusions shattered.”

His shoulders shake with laughter. “You might be surprised how many people think I’m a huge asshole.”

“My point is that we’re good. Really.”

“Okay, then.” He starts the engine again. “One last thing,” he adds, putting the SUV in reverse. “I wasn’t thrilled when Ellie came back into Devlin’s life. I was afraid she’d put stress on his cracks and everything would fall apart. But he’s stronger than ever now, and it’s because of her. I’m grateful for that. He deserves her.”

“They deserve each other,” I say, completely confused as to why we’re now talking about Ellie and Devlin.

“But there’s another reason I’m glad she’s back.”

“Okay. What?”

He chuckles. “You. What conversation have you been following?”

I feel my cheeks warm as he continues. “If Ellie hadn’t come back to town, I would never have met you. And, Brandy Bradshaw, that would have been a damn shame.”